Who ever said sprite was supposed to make a sick person feel better? I just drank 'Fresca' - a mutated version of Sprite - and now I'm hiccupping and feeling sick to my stomach. My brother was the one to pick out this miracle-discovery-soda and I feel a certain amount of bitterness is due him. But he always was one to pick out the 'new soda's'. Somehow just the fact that there is a new 'flavor' out on the irresistible Pick’n Save shelves makes him enthusiastic about making everybody like it. I've decided. I do NOT like Fresca.
CPR. It’s fascinating how quick people are to say, “I know CPR!” because they have read a book about it, or they once passed by an ambulance that was employing it, or they watched it performed on H.O.U.S.E. But, I have them all beat! Today, after taking an extensive course that taught me correct (never sloppy!) compressions, abominable thrusts, and making out with various plastic beings, I was handed a card that declared ME a certified CPR technician. It wasn’t quite worded like that, but that was the idea. Now if I happen upon a blue and unresponsive person I can whip my card out and assure them of my abilities.
While at that CPR class, I discovered that I was sitting next to a famous little girl. She seemed normal enough. Just a little oriental girl, with a big all-knowing smile that declared she was learning CPR so she could baby-sit. I took one look at her and thought she was very small for her age of 12, and that if she wanted to baby-sit, she’d best look after small babies. She seemed a little mouthy, but in a cute way. Her tall, red-haired mother was just as mouthy - at some points exasperating the instructor into saying to her, “You’re just gonna make this real fun, aren’t you, lady?” The father was even taller, and very slow and quiet. He had a large birth-mark on his forehead that made him seem somehow like a helpless, friendly giant. A younger oriental girl accompanied them for the first session, but for later decided that her friends’ house was more exciting.
Anyways, so we started out our class and the lady starts slapping magazines down in front of the rest of us not-so-famous-soon-to-be-CPR-technicians, and we were faced with pictures and articles of Jade-Lianna Peters. We all exchanged high eyebrows and looked closer at the little oriental girl to see if she looked like a Nickelodeon cartoon star. The mother chatted happily about how they had gotten back from Las Vegas only the night before, where her little girl had been given a premier night party in her honor. The girl finally rolled her eyes and said, “That’s enough, Mom.” It was borderline-disrespect - I could tell by the expressions of the mother and a nearby nurse. And yet, it seemed in the girls saucy, intelligent character to say what she was thinking.
I looked closer at the cartoon characters, and thought - wow- 2D graphics must be all the rage. Truly, the koala bear and china land were both simplified to a great extent. Needless to say, that was my dramatic brush with fame.
I'm still hiccuping. That's a frickin long time to hiccup. Blast you Fresca.
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