What Money Can Buy

I am livid. (Why is this blog always about me, you're probably wondering.) (Well, tough. This is my blog.) Even now my fingers are curling into imaginary cat claws and I want to pound this desktop. Why am I livid? (That's probably you're next question.) Well, I've just been to Best Buy. That should explain things nicely.

I've entitled this article 'What Money Can Buy' because right now I HATE money (and the title sounded cool). No matter what I want to get, I go into best buy (it doesn't even deserve the respect of being capitalized) and some shiny-faced geek squad guy tells me that's NOT what I want. What I WANT is... $$$$. In other words every single guy in their tight little blue shirts will look me up and down, decide I don't know a THING (which admittedly technology is not my strong suit), and try to sell me $500 above my price range. WE COLLEGE STUDENTS HAVE A PRICE RANGE FOR A REASON.

"Yes, well, even for college, this camera is crash proof, burn proof, scratch proof, erosion proof..."
"And this computer you're looking at? No it doesn't come in the color Green. It comes in BLACK. We have an even better model over here that's comparative in price (only $300 more) and.... What? Does it come in green? Well, no."

See, I bought two things today. A digital camera, and a laptop computer. These are big purchases: things I have agonized over and put off because I am SO incredibly indecisive. Finally, though, I DECIDED. I had three qualifications for my computer that would make me quite happy.

1) It must be a nice color (or at least cute)
2) I must like the way it types
3) It must be cheap

There. Simple enough. So, the very first time I broached computer shopping in Best Buy, a thin, awkward guy talked my modest $500 dollar budget up to $2000. According to him, not only did I NEED a $1000 computer, but I would need about $1000 more in software, warranty, etc. (everything that would make me happy).

Fact is, I am made HAPPY by VERY SIMPLE things!!! All I need is a word processor! (scream)

It AMAZES me that I can walk into a LARGE, SEEMINGLY SUCCESSFUL business, and be swarmed by loping blue dudes who all tell me something different that I NEED every time I come in. So today I DECIDED... I'm gonna buy the $500 black Dell computer, and get a nice cute little Red Kodak camera. There. Decisions made. I will take my Dad with me so he can help (actually I can't drive without him yet.)

Getting the computer was easy enough, because they only had 4 left in stock and the guy seemed eager to get rid of them. Still...maybe I wasn't the most teachable technology-idiot there ever was, but I found it annoying how the guy kept wiping his nose and telling me stuff like,"uh, no, that flash drive's not what you want. Here's one for a little bit more money that's much better."

My question is, if all of the cheap, affordable produts are so retarded, then WHY does BEST BUY STOCK THEM?

Okay. Teachable technology spirit. I bought the more expensive, 4 Gig flash drive.

"Okay, and I want that camera."
"That one? That one right there?"
"Yes. And it comes in the red, right?"
"R-right... but, well let me get a camera guy to help here."
The guy then ducked his head into his shirt collar as though he were speaking into a hidden mike, "Hey, yeah, could I get help in the photography department?"

As summoned, a guy who had been standing about three feet away loped up and said, "Yeah, what are you guy's looking at? WHAT can I HELP you with?"

I pointed to my camera and said very precisely, "I'd like to get this camera, please."
He looked at it, looked at me, and then started talking to my DAD about other camera's I might like. Another best buy guy came up and soon there were two or three guys, with their heads calmly cocked to the side, telling my DAD what I should buy. My Dad was asking them questions about battery power, and they were saying, "Yes, I definitely would tell her to get an extra battery. In fact, the two year warranty is only $30 more. Not bad, not bad at all." I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!! They were talking like I wasn't even there! So, I went and sat with my computer at the check-out desk and watched these people from a distance. What is their PROBLEM? I'M buying the stuff. NOT my Dad! I all ready came in like FIVE times and got dozens of geeks ADVICE, and then there they stand telling my Dad to get ME to get something I DON'T WANT. I'm not joking, my Dad asked questions that were completely unimportant (like, "what size screen is this... exactly?") and those idiots swarmed around him and answered his questions. I was THIS close to walking over and getting in their face and sounding very deadly, "GIVE it to me. Just give me the CHEAP KODAK THAT IS RED AND CUTE!" I don't curse, but I'm sure I would have found SOME way to use strong language.

Finally, it seemed like the bucket had run dry and the photo guy was finding a little bit less to talk about, so I walked over and stood there calmly. Seething. Waiting. He turned to me and flashed a fat smile, "Oh, you didn't hear any of that, did you?"

I smiled. Shook my head. Waited.

He laughed. I laughed. Give me the camera. What did he do? He starts REPEATING TO ME what he had told my Dad, about how KODAK is a dumb camera.

I looked him dead in the eye and said innocently, "Well, what's wrong with it?"

"Well, when you're walking and you're taking pictures, you have a tendency to get fuzzy pictures." NO JOKE. That's what he said.

"We've really found that KODAK is more of an old people camera. No young people buy them anymore."

I got my courage up after about 10 minutes more of his speel and said, "Well, actually, I totally understand how you could have a hard time with KODAK, because when I first started using my KODAK I got fuzzy pictures, too. I just had to work on keeping the camera steady. Now I quite like the KODAK camera because I can take good pictures with it."

"Well, that depends on who you're talking to. I mean you might be looking at the pictures and thinking they're good, but someone else may come along and go, 'woa'." NO JOKE! Those were his words EXACTLY. I was like, 'O MY SOUL, HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.'

I really do have good self control. I did not blow up. I seethed. Right now, this is me blowing up on my blog. I am blowing up through calm, precise words and BIG capital letters. I smiled and said, "Well, you can go help that lady over there, because I'm going to look around for a while anyways."

The minute he loped off, my Dad said, "He really is very knowledgable. I marvel that they have so many knowledgable people at this Best Buy."

I told my Dad through my teeth, "I am getting the KODAK. It's cheaper. It's what I want. It's compatible with my memory cards and my camera case. Could you tell him?"

I went and huffed back to my seat, and then thought, Why am I wimping out and making my DAD tell him MY decision. I'm not ashamed of my decision! So, I got up and went to find the guy myself and saw my Dad standing there with his head cocked apologetically, telling him I was going to go with what I actually wanted. The guy looked at me incredulously, and I shrugged with a winning smile, "I'm sorry. It's really what I want."

He shrugged back, "That's fine. You're the one that's going to have to live with it."

I WANTED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT MY DUMB PURCHASES! And at every turn I'm being told what I want. I'm being told what will make me happy. I got home and threw my stuff on the floor and didn't even want to look at it.

Am I over-reacting??? Eh, probably. I just needed to get all of that out of my system. To Best Buy's credit, there was ONE nice guy who was tall and nice and brought me my camera and teased me about something or other. I think he could tell I was mad. And I RARELY get mad. Generally when I get into debates, I have this other segment to my emotions called PASSIONATE. Even if I SAY I'm mad, I'm generally not. But today. Yes. Mad was what money bought me.

UG. I hate money. I do like my camera, though. ;) SO, something good came of all this mess after all. Maybe I'll go back to Best Buy, and return the things I bought and opened, so I can get the "15% off after opened" discount. Haha. Beat the system. Okay. I just made a joke. That means I'll be okay. I'm not so mad any more. I forgive the poor souls. Man, I really wouldn't want to be them. They have to spend time with EACH OTHER. That would be the worst part of this story. So really, the sympathy all goes to them.

But seriously, someone should sue the Geek Squad.