De ja Vu Relationship

I think of him. I look over. He's not there. Suddenly I freeze. Everything about this moment--the traffic whizzing by my car, the sound of the air conditioning, my hand poised over the radio knob, my thoughts racing, my destination--is the same as some time before in my life. I can't put my finger on a particular time. All I know is that I have been here before. I've experienced this exact set of random combinations. And I  have to assume it's de ja vu.

But then the other day I got to thinking. De ja vu is such a pat way of explaining eerie coincidences. We assume we have done a similar thing before and think nothing more of the chill of familiarity. But what if we truly have already experienced this life before? What if Andrew and I have already married and had children and grown old together? What if somehow God sent us back to view our lives and in that moment our future and present conscious connect.

It's romantic thinking on my part. But how else can I describe the powerful feelings I have for Andrew?

I know it's crazy. But just follow this train of thought for a crazy second. What if some couples have incredible chemistry because in a future timeline they have already slept together? They wouldn't remember it because it hasn't happened for them yet, but their conscious is already aware of what "is" there down the road. What if for the same reason God allows feelings of love to grow, because the conscious already senses what great things are to come. And then in those little moments when he smiles over at you, or a neighborhood dog barks, or you move one step closer to each other- you get de ja vu because you sense you are fulfilling a future that already knows you.

I can definitely say that I had de ja vu moments in past failed relationships. Not because my future and past conscious collided. Nope. Just because I realized that I was making the same mistakes over and over. It was a constant roller coaster of infatuation, breaking up, and then regret over the whole relationship. Looking back, I recognize that a lot of that roller coaster was me being impossible. But I'm so thankful I was impossible right up until the time I met Andrew. Somehow he managed to put up with my impossible and that, my friends, gave me no choice but to fall in love with him. I love and miss him so much. :)

Regardless, you have to be careful. Because if you follow my de ja vu theory, you could choose to be enemies with someone because you had a de ja vu moment while you had a minor argument with them. Not the best logical approach to life. :P

Still, it's kind of a cool thought.