For a lot of people, the end of a school semester means freedom. But for the majority of dating people at my school, it means separation. Ironic, right? We all go to a Christian university where we're not allowed to touch. Summer comes, the gloves come off, but we all live 1500 miles apart from each other. The sexual tension builds so much that by the time graduation hits, every one is dying to get married. Genius.
I received a call today that left me almost reaching for tissues. It was a call from one of my best friends. For her, summer had already meant a break up. The reason? He went on a 2 1/2 week missions trip and when he came back, he didn't feel the same way about her. She got the break-up call after she had already mailed him a love letter every day he was gone and also sent him a package full of his favorite candy. UM. That made me mad.
Everyone reacts differently to separation. Honestly, when I set foot on the plane to fly to Antigua this summer, I wasn't sure how I would feel about my boyfriend when I returned. I'd never been away from him. If he was like 95% of the guys I've dated before, I would be completely content to leave him behind. I would flirt shamelessly with the other guys I met, and I would be noncommittal to all. But from the first step on the plane until the last step off the plane, I missed him desperately. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but there was one day when I didn't even want to get out of bed. The whole two weeks I was gone, I couldn't communicate with him at all. I just wanted to be with him. I didn't need other guys. If I talked to them, Andrew always came up. I wore his shirts, volunteered him to beat up guys who bothered me, and for every desktop picture that I stood in front of, I wished he was there seeing it with me. It was SO surprising to come home and find out that he had driven to be with me even though he was worried I wouldn't want to see him or wouldn't be in love with him anymore. Separation had the same effect on him.
And now it's his turn. He's gone, experiencing the world. And I'm struggling through the down time. I'm re-reading old letters and memories I penned in my journals. I breathe in sharply every time I read about the first time he touched me. I get tickled all over again when I read the ways he ticked me off or the ways he tried to make things up to me. I feel special again when I remember the times he has made me feel special. And I just think about him. A lot. I think about that song by Taylor Swift called "Stay, Stay, Stay". That song is us.
So for me, with the right guy, separation means my feelings for him grow stronger. It means that I don't like to travel without him. I don't like movie night without him. I don't like coming home without him. I don't like any other guy touching me. Like the song says, "I just like hanging out with you all the time. All those times that you didn't leave it's been occurring to me I would like to hang out with you for my whole life."
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