I look at my vacant left ring finger, and I'm nervous. And excited. But still nervous. It's such a big decision. It's sitting in front of him and agreeing to love him even when we had nights like last night. It's agreeing to disagree and to give up some of our personal space in order to be in each other's space forever. It's FOREVER. It's forever of loving him and sometimes loathing him. It's dying to self over and over. It's having a constant magnifying glass on my flaws that I live with just fine.
After this there is no turning back. I'm so nervous.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
It's a slow thing
Growth is a slow thing. There's no instant happy pill to a relationship. I was reading today in "The Purpose Driven Life" that our lives are like a battle strategy. When God gets a hold of our life it's as if he establishes a beachfront. Then he slowly starts taking over more territory, one battle at a time. His goal is to make you more like Christ. I can't believe how awesome this vision is. Instead of viewing "battles" and "hard lessons" as a constant barrage of God beating me down, they are really his loving way of teaching me how to let go of bad habits and develop new ones. The book said something crazy great - "Your character is the sum total of your habits."
WOW. I can't just say, "Well, I've always been impatient, controlling, or untrusting, so deal with it." No, I need to learn this same lesson over and over until it is a habit for me to be trusting, and glorifying God in all I do. I can't say I "am" something (like kind or loving) until I do it all the time without thinking. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit. So I'm going to start being patient with Andrew and trusting in God now - even if I'm starting for the fifth time. My goal is not to just win these battles and temptations - it's to grow more like Christ.
WOW. I can't just say, "Well, I've always been impatient, controlling, or untrusting, so deal with it." No, I need to learn this same lesson over and over until it is a habit for me to be trusting, and glorifying God in all I do. I can't say I "am" something (like kind or loving) until I do it all the time without thinking. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit. So I'm going to start being patient with Andrew and trusting in God now - even if I'm starting for the fifth time. My goal is not to just win these battles and temptations - it's to grow more like Christ.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Separation: Everyone reacts differently
For a lot of people, the end of a school semester means freedom. But for the majority of dating people at my school, it means separation. Ironic, right? We all go to a Christian university where we're not allowed to touch. Summer comes, the gloves come off, but we all live 1500 miles apart from each other. The sexual tension builds so much that by the time graduation hits, every one is dying to get married. Genius.
I received a call today that left me almost reaching for tissues. It was a call from one of my best friends. For her, summer had already meant a break up. The reason? He went on a 2 1/2 week missions trip and when he came back, he didn't feel the same way about her. She got the break-up call after she had already mailed him a love letter every day he was gone and also sent him a package full of his favorite candy. UM. That made me mad.
Everyone reacts differently to separation. Honestly, when I set foot on the plane to fly to Antigua this summer, I wasn't sure how I would feel about my boyfriend when I returned. I'd never been away from him. If he was like 95% of the guys I've dated before, I would be completely content to leave him behind. I would flirt shamelessly with the other guys I met, and I would be noncommittal to all. But from the first step on the plane until the last step off the plane, I missed him desperately. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but there was one day when I didn't even want to get out of bed. The whole two weeks I was gone, I couldn't communicate with him at all. I just wanted to be with him. I didn't need other guys. If I talked to them, Andrew always came up. I wore his shirts, volunteered him to beat up guys who bothered me, and for every desktop picture that I stood in front of, I wished he was there seeing it with me. It was SO surprising to come home and find out that he had driven to be with me even though he was worried I wouldn't want to see him or wouldn't be in love with him anymore. Separation had the same effect on him.
And now it's his turn. He's gone, experiencing the world. And I'm struggling through the down time. I'm re-reading old letters and memories I penned in my journals. I breathe in sharply every time I read about the first time he touched me. I get tickled all over again when I read the ways he ticked me off or the ways he tried to make things up to me. I feel special again when I remember the times he has made me feel special. And I just think about him. A lot. I think about that song by Taylor Swift called "Stay, Stay, Stay". That song is us.
So for me, with the right guy, separation means my feelings for him grow stronger. It means that I don't like to travel without him. I don't like movie night without him. I don't like coming home without him. I don't like any other guy touching me. Like the song says, "I just like hanging out with you all the time. All those times that you didn't leave it's been occurring to me I would like to hang out with you for my whole life."
I received a call today that left me almost reaching for tissues. It was a call from one of my best friends. For her, summer had already meant a break up. The reason? He went on a 2 1/2 week missions trip and when he came back, he didn't feel the same way about her. She got the break-up call after she had already mailed him a love letter every day he was gone and also sent him a package full of his favorite candy. UM. That made me mad.
Everyone reacts differently to separation. Honestly, when I set foot on the plane to fly to Antigua this summer, I wasn't sure how I would feel about my boyfriend when I returned. I'd never been away from him. If he was like 95% of the guys I've dated before, I would be completely content to leave him behind. I would flirt shamelessly with the other guys I met, and I would be noncommittal to all. But from the first step on the plane until the last step off the plane, I missed him desperately. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but there was one day when I didn't even want to get out of bed. The whole two weeks I was gone, I couldn't communicate with him at all. I just wanted to be with him. I didn't need other guys. If I talked to them, Andrew always came up. I wore his shirts, volunteered him to beat up guys who bothered me, and for every desktop picture that I stood in front of, I wished he was there seeing it with me. It was SO surprising to come home and find out that he had driven to be with me even though he was worried I wouldn't want to see him or wouldn't be in love with him anymore. Separation had the same effect on him.
And now it's his turn. He's gone, experiencing the world. And I'm struggling through the down time. I'm re-reading old letters and memories I penned in my journals. I breathe in sharply every time I read about the first time he touched me. I get tickled all over again when I read the ways he ticked me off or the ways he tried to make things up to me. I feel special again when I remember the times he has made me feel special. And I just think about him. A lot. I think about that song by Taylor Swift called "Stay, Stay, Stay". That song is us.
So for me, with the right guy, separation means my feelings for him grow stronger. It means that I don't like to travel without him. I don't like movie night without him. I don't like coming home without him. I don't like any other guy touching me. Like the song says, "I just like hanging out with you all the time. All those times that you didn't leave it's been occurring to me I would like to hang out with you for my whole life."
Monday, June 3, 2013
Shower Songs
*Nothing better than shower songs. Wrote most of these in the shower tonight. Kinda raw, but whatever :) *
Look into my eyes, boy and are you surprised to see love in there?
And so how does it feel, knowing that it's real
Loving you, touching you, being you.
It was you all along,
Boy, only gonna say it once, I was wrong.
Turns out the only thing between us was time.
Skin against skin - passion.
Insecurities open - raw.
Fingertips raking - exploration.
Lips tracing - sweetly.
Eyes smile - teasing.
Hand in hand - magic.
Arms around me - safe.
Conflict scrapes - deep.
Smile through tears - hero.
Talk about God - reverent.
Tie pulled in for kiss - need.
Backing off, tap on nose - respect.
Holds closer during scary movie - protected.
Looks helpless when woman cries - adorable.
Kisses me up against a wall - desire.
Talking for hours - friend.
Can't let go, one more hug - goodbye.
Can't let go, one more hug - hello again.
Slow dance to no music, step on toes - love.
All this. One thing - you.
Baby I'm drowning in you.
The ocean is getting higher,
The water is closing over me.
And I watch helplessly, loving it.
The shower's falling over me,
And I let it wash senselessly,
I'm drifting out to sea,
You'd think that I was crazy,
No, I'm just crazy with you.
I have no control over you.
And I like it. ;)
The wind is hot, the fire's hotter.
It's blowing me, it's blowing farther.
Farther away from loving you, babe.
I've been with you, I've been with others,
I've met the dads, I've met the mothers.
Baby, it's pushing me away.
So one day soon you pull me close,
And say I do. I feel the noose.
And then I look into your eyes and see
That loving you, loving me,
It's not so complicated.
That loving you, loving me,
It's quite interrelated.
And if I simply give up,
These chains that hold me back,
I can be truly free with you.
Look into my eyes, boy and are you surprised to see love in there?
And so how does it feel, knowing that it's real
Loving you, touching you, being you.
It was you all along,
Boy, only gonna say it once, I was wrong.
Turns out the only thing between us was time.
Skin against skin - passion.
Insecurities open - raw.
Fingertips raking - exploration.
Lips tracing - sweetly.
Eyes smile - teasing.
Hand in hand - magic.
Arms around me - safe.
Conflict scrapes - deep.
Smile through tears - hero.
Talk about God - reverent.
Tie pulled in for kiss - need.
Backing off, tap on nose - respect.
Holds closer during scary movie - protected.
Looks helpless when woman cries - adorable.
Kisses me up against a wall - desire.
Talking for hours - friend.
Can't let go, one more hug - goodbye.
Can't let go, one more hug - hello again.
Slow dance to no music, step on toes - love.
All this. One thing - you.
Baby I'm drowning in you.
The ocean is getting higher,
The water is closing over me.
And I watch helplessly, loving it.
The shower's falling over me,
And I let it wash senselessly,
I'm drifting out to sea,
You'd think that I was crazy,
No, I'm just crazy with you.
I have no control over you.
And I like it. ;)
The wind is hot, the fire's hotter.
It's blowing me, it's blowing farther.
Farther away from loving you, babe.
I've been with you, I've been with others,
I've met the dads, I've met the mothers.
Baby, it's pushing me away.
So one day soon you pull me close,
And say I do. I feel the noose.
And then I look into your eyes and see
That loving you, loving me,
It's not so complicated.
That loving you, loving me,
It's quite interrelated.
And if I simply give up,
These chains that hold me back,
I can be truly free with you.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Exhausted from Loving
What is it about laying on your bed all week
That makes you dream.
A lot.
Call me lazy,
Or call me maybe,
But I plead food poisoning. Or dengue fever. Or love sickness.
Regardless, I can barely get out of bed.
And with this exhaustion of body,
Comes an exhaustion of spirit.
All week I've been gearing up to say goodbye to him.
And I'm all sapped out of loving things to say.
I'm all spent on the reasons I love him.
Because at the end of the day,
He's still leaving me.
And I'm still lying here alone.
And so I resist thinking about him.
I resist talks of a wedding.
I resist exchanging saliva-covered nothings.
Because I feel like I'm saying goodbye forever.
I can't do this.
And so I close my eyes.
And I see him.
I'm randomly escaping from a camp in the woods,
And he is in my getaway car.
Dang him.
I'm playing a game and I kiss someone.
I pull back,
And it's his lips I kissed.
It gets so I wake up and I don't know how he was in my dream,
But I remember him distinctly being there.
Ever get into a relationship that lasted all of 5 seconds?
Before the relationship you were probably like, forget women/men!
Suddenly when the relationship becomes a possibility,
Life is beautiful.
You skip around convincing people that all those other people were nothing.
THIS one is the one.
And then it happens.
Any one of a number things could happen - and it does happen.
And you wake up the next morning with a crushing realization that you're all alone again.
Time to start over.
Or give up.
Again.
Time to reconvince yourself that that person was NOT the one.
Time to embrace a new day full of new possibilites and new people.
This is me.
Knowing he wants me.
Knowing I want him.
But feeling like - of course it had to end.
Of course it was too amazing, too beautiful, too precious to be true.
Of course I'm alone.
Because in my mind, I fear that of all the things that can go wrong,
It won't be him or me this time.
It will be an airplane plucking him from the sky,
Burying him in the grounds of Australia.
And it will be death this time that cheated us both from love.
Silly?
Okay.
Absurd?
Fine.
But as he realized he had 13 minutes left to say goodbye to me, I could hear it in his voice.
The finality.
The ragged intake of breath.
The sweet nothings.
Never mind that we had been talking non-stop for hour upon hour.
13 minutes left.
And I felt cold all over.
The dial tone buzzed in my ear and my heart sank.
No guarantees.
I HATE goodbyes.
It's too much to hope I'll see him again.
It's crazy.
In the past he has disappeared around the corner,
He's left my arms to go get a drink of water,
He's driven 500 miles away to his home,
He's spent 22 years of his life away from me.
And in any one of those instances,
God could have taken him.
A wreckless moment, a freak accident, an internal failure.
Anything could have happened.
And I didn't fear that.
But now, he flies 14 hours literally to the other side of the world.
In two days, he is 10,500 miles away from me.
And I am paralyzed with fear.
I'm afraid from loving him.
I'm exhausted from the fear of losing him.
Who knew that love was so exhausting?
And I know.
God loves him more.
God is watching over him.
But, God.
I still fall on my knees.
Or I would if I could get out of bed.
And I beg you to spare him from everything that could go wrong.
I beg you.
And I know he is safer in your will in the middle of venomous spiders in Australia,
Than he would be out of your will and here at my house holding me.
God, I know you hold the world in your hand.
You know the hairs on his head.
You see the sparrow fall.
You own the cattle on the hills.
So I know you can guard him.
Please guard him.
Because selfishly,
I can't live without him.
That makes you dream.
A lot.
Call me lazy,
Or call me maybe,
But I plead food poisoning. Or dengue fever. Or love sickness.
Regardless, I can barely get out of bed.
And with this exhaustion of body,
Comes an exhaustion of spirit.
All week I've been gearing up to say goodbye to him.
And I'm all sapped out of loving things to say.
I'm all spent on the reasons I love him.
Because at the end of the day,
He's still leaving me.
And I'm still lying here alone.
And so I resist thinking about him.
I resist talks of a wedding.
I resist exchanging saliva-covered nothings.
Because I feel like I'm saying goodbye forever.
I can't do this.
And so I close my eyes.
And I see him.
I'm randomly escaping from a camp in the woods,
And he is in my getaway car.
Dang him.
I'm playing a game and I kiss someone.
I pull back,
And it's his lips I kissed.
It gets so I wake up and I don't know how he was in my dream,
But I remember him distinctly being there.
Ever get into a relationship that lasted all of 5 seconds?
Before the relationship you were probably like, forget women/men!
Suddenly when the relationship becomes a possibility,
Life is beautiful.
You skip around convincing people that all those other people were nothing.
THIS one is the one.
And then it happens.
Any one of a number things could happen - and it does happen.
And you wake up the next morning with a crushing realization that you're all alone again.
Time to start over.
Or give up.
Again.
Time to reconvince yourself that that person was NOT the one.
Time to embrace a new day full of new possibilites and new people.
This is me.
Knowing he wants me.
Knowing I want him.
But feeling like - of course it had to end.
Of course it was too amazing, too beautiful, too precious to be true.
Of course I'm alone.
Because in my mind, I fear that of all the things that can go wrong,
It won't be him or me this time.
It will be an airplane plucking him from the sky,
Burying him in the grounds of Australia.
And it will be death this time that cheated us both from love.
Silly?
Okay.
Absurd?
Fine.
But as he realized he had 13 minutes left to say goodbye to me, I could hear it in his voice.
The finality.
The ragged intake of breath.
The sweet nothings.
Never mind that we had been talking non-stop for hour upon hour.
13 minutes left.
And I felt cold all over.
The dial tone buzzed in my ear and my heart sank.
No guarantees.
I HATE goodbyes.
It's too much to hope I'll see him again.
It's crazy.
In the past he has disappeared around the corner,
He's left my arms to go get a drink of water,
He's driven 500 miles away to his home,
He's spent 22 years of his life away from me.
And in any one of those instances,
God could have taken him.
A wreckless moment, a freak accident, an internal failure.
Anything could have happened.
And I didn't fear that.
But now, he flies 14 hours literally to the other side of the world.
In two days, he is 10,500 miles away from me.
And I am paralyzed with fear.
I'm afraid from loving him.
I'm exhausted from the fear of losing him.
Who knew that love was so exhausting?
And I know.
God loves him more.
God is watching over him.
But, God.
I still fall on my knees.
Or I would if I could get out of bed.
And I beg you to spare him from everything that could go wrong.
I beg you.
And I know he is safer in your will in the middle of venomous spiders in Australia,
Than he would be out of your will and here at my house holding me.
God, I know you hold the world in your hand.
You know the hairs on his head.
You see the sparrow fall.
You own the cattle on the hills.
So I know you can guard him.
Please guard him.
Because selfishly,
I can't live without him.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
It's scary to be so happy
We haven't said those words yet. But in an effort to avoid writing a legal brief for class, I'm here. My little fingers are furiously typing on this wretched Dell keyboard on keys that have known me since my freshman year in 08. And I see his smile. The way he looks at me. The way he encourages me. The way he's so patient with me.
And I love him.
But I don't say it because I'm afraid I'll mess it up. It's the only reason I try to deny that I love him. It's scary to be so happy. But last night I was grading his paper and ripping it apart, and I gave him a merciful A-. And he says, "Babe, what would you really give me?" And I wasn't thinking and said "my heart haha". He said "would you really?" And I said "if you want it". Anyways he wanted it, and then we did this really sappy exchange of hearts over text. It's really sickening in the light of day but last night it seemed really sweet. UG. WHAT IS HE TURNING ME INTO????
He said he's glad I don't remember single life and he's going to do his best to keep me from ever experiencing it again. Let's just say he has said a minimum of 5 times that he wants to marry me and give me his last name. He's not possessive but he is fascinated with this idea that I am his and no one else's. :P
But seriously. I'm having a hard time remembering what I did with my time when I was single. What was life before him? I thought I would feel limited to be with one guy. And yet I don't know what I was so afraid of - it's great. As it is now, when I'm not with my friend at school and working on some project I'm with him. And I think I could spend all my time with him and not feel like I was missing out on anything at all. He makes me feel like I don't need anything else but God and then him.
Let me show you what a good guy he is. Yesterday, I conducted a failed social experiment. Literally, I pictured a hundred people freezing all over the front of campus holding thank you cards and then we would get on our radio show and talk about positive communication and speak out against cyberbullying! Instead, you have me and a straggling few freezing in front of campus with panicked looks in our eyes as people stare at us as they pass by. And we're holding these signs that say "Take a moment. Thank someone." My cheeks were burning with shame. It was supposed to be a freeze MOB but it turned out to be a freeze trickle. I think they caught me on camera saying I wanted to crawl under a pillow. I didn't even get the phrase "crawl under a rock" right!!! Afterwards, I got interviews of the thankful few and later realized I hadn't even pressed record. Let's just say it was an EPIC fail. And Andrew was one of the 10 people that showed up and froze with me. Let's just say I wanted to sarcastically thank the 50 people who had said on facebook they would be "attending" the event and then just never showed up. Included in the no-shows was the guy who came up with the idea to do the freeze mob. He had NO excuses!!
And Andrew just calmed me down. He thought it was adorable that I was doing it and he supported me even though he had a class in the next 5 minutes. He makes me feel special and he listens to me rant about the injustice in the world! He just has this way of shutting me up haha. He has good ideas sometimes that really make me think about things I can do instead of throwing my hands up in the air.
Today I was having issues with my schedule for next semester and he's like, "Well, let's go talk to them." I wanted to just give up and talk about all the brick walls I was hitting. But instead I followed him upstairs to find the Dean's office and he sat outside patiently while I talked to him for about 35 minutes. When I got out he didn't complain about how long I'd taken or how he didn't realize it would be that long. He just said, "How did it go?"
Two months ago I would have said he didn't deserve me and I was only into him for the physical. Today I would say that I don't deserve him and I love him for who he is.
And I love him.
But I don't say it because I'm afraid I'll mess it up. It's the only reason I try to deny that I love him. It's scary to be so happy. But last night I was grading his paper and ripping it apart, and I gave him a merciful A-. And he says, "Babe, what would you really give me?" And I wasn't thinking and said "my heart haha". He said "would you really?" And I said "if you want it". Anyways he wanted it, and then we did this really sappy exchange of hearts over text. It's really sickening in the light of day but last night it seemed really sweet. UG. WHAT IS HE TURNING ME INTO????
He said he's glad I don't remember single life and he's going to do his best to keep me from ever experiencing it again. Let's just say he has said a minimum of 5 times that he wants to marry me and give me his last name. He's not possessive but he is fascinated with this idea that I am his and no one else's. :P
But seriously. I'm having a hard time remembering what I did with my time when I was single. What was life before him? I thought I would feel limited to be with one guy. And yet I don't know what I was so afraid of - it's great. As it is now, when I'm not with my friend at school and working on some project I'm with him. And I think I could spend all my time with him and not feel like I was missing out on anything at all. He makes me feel like I don't need anything else but God and then him.
Let me show you what a good guy he is. Yesterday, I conducted a failed social experiment. Literally, I pictured a hundred people freezing all over the front of campus holding thank you cards and then we would get on our radio show and talk about positive communication and speak out against cyberbullying! Instead, you have me and a straggling few freezing in front of campus with panicked looks in our eyes as people stare at us as they pass by. And we're holding these signs that say "Take a moment. Thank someone." My cheeks were burning with shame. It was supposed to be a freeze MOB but it turned out to be a freeze trickle. I think they caught me on camera saying I wanted to crawl under a pillow. I didn't even get the phrase "crawl under a rock" right!!! Afterwards, I got interviews of the thankful few and later realized I hadn't even pressed record. Let's just say it was an EPIC fail. And Andrew was one of the 10 people that showed up and froze with me. Let's just say I wanted to sarcastically thank the 50 people who had said on facebook they would be "attending" the event and then just never showed up. Included in the no-shows was the guy who came up with the idea to do the freeze mob. He had NO excuses!!
And Andrew just calmed me down. He thought it was adorable that I was doing it and he supported me even though he had a class in the next 5 minutes. He makes me feel special and he listens to me rant about the injustice in the world! He just has this way of shutting me up haha. He has good ideas sometimes that really make me think about things I can do instead of throwing my hands up in the air.
Today I was having issues with my schedule for next semester and he's like, "Well, let's go talk to them." I wanted to just give up and talk about all the brick walls I was hitting. But instead I followed him upstairs to find the Dean's office and he sat outside patiently while I talked to him for about 35 minutes. When I got out he didn't complain about how long I'd taken or how he didn't realize it would be that long. He just said, "How did it go?"
Two months ago I would have said he didn't deserve me and I was only into him for the physical. Today I would say that I don't deserve him and I love him for who he is.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Loving the Unlovely
I'm having one of those days where I wonder - what am I doing with my life? I feel stuck in this college stage. I'm ready to be married, but not ready to marry any of the guys I've met. I'm 22. I feel like every day is just another day of entropy....breakdown...becoming less beautiful every day.
And then I remember my new years resolution. Instead of picking a physical goal, I pick a characteristic of God that I want to learn over the each new year. Last year it was Trust. The year before, Patience. This year it is Selfless Love. Boy, that's a powerful characteristic that I see in God on a daily basis. If I were Him, I never would have sent my only Son to earth to die for an ingrate like myself. I just simply don't deserve that kind of love. I think of my childhood friend who had a stroke at age 12 and has been in a vegetable state ever since. Just this week they pulled the plug. She died at 22. Why wasn't that me? We used to play together. I think of her family and all the time and love they gave her even though she could never speak again. 10 years. That's selfless love.
So when I focus 99% of my day on my flaws, I'm actually focusing 99% of my day on self love. I don't want my day to be that way. I want to be so busy serving God and others that I don't have time to dwell on self-pity and discouraging inward thoughts.
The point is, Jesus came to earth and demonstrated a love unlike any other to very unlovely people - a love that He never expected to be repayed for. He didn't expect repayment, though, because He loves the world. All He asks is that we accept His free gift of eternal life.
So I want to be more and more like my Saviour every day. I want to love without expecting anything in return. I want to love the unlovely. I want to love the success of others more than myself. I want to lay up my treasures in heaven, because the treasures and beauties of this earth DO corrupt and rust and other people can even steal them away.
Guess What. There's nothing more beautiful than love.
And then I remember my new years resolution. Instead of picking a physical goal, I pick a characteristic of God that I want to learn over the each new year. Last year it was Trust. The year before, Patience. This year it is Selfless Love. Boy, that's a powerful characteristic that I see in God on a daily basis. If I were Him, I never would have sent my only Son to earth to die for an ingrate like myself. I just simply don't deserve that kind of love. I think of my childhood friend who had a stroke at age 12 and has been in a vegetable state ever since. Just this week they pulled the plug. She died at 22. Why wasn't that me? We used to play together. I think of her family and all the time and love they gave her even though she could never speak again. 10 years. That's selfless love.
So when I focus 99% of my day on my flaws, I'm actually focusing 99% of my day on self love. I don't want my day to be that way. I want to be so busy serving God and others that I don't have time to dwell on self-pity and discouraging inward thoughts.
The point is, Jesus came to earth and demonstrated a love unlike any other to very unlovely people - a love that He never expected to be repayed for. He didn't expect repayment, though, because He loves the world. All He asks is that we accept His free gift of eternal life.
So I want to be more and more like my Saviour every day. I want to love without expecting anything in return. I want to love the unlovely. I want to love the success of others more than myself. I want to lay up my treasures in heaven, because the treasures and beauties of this earth DO corrupt and rust and other people can even steal them away.
Guess What. There's nothing more beautiful than love.
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