Returning to a simple time

So often I seek to jump ahead. I don't want to age beyond my current 23 years. But I want to jump ahead just a few weeks to when I can see him again. I want to jump ahead to when we can be married, to when I'm not a virgin anymore, to when we've settled down in jobs, and to when we have our own place to call home.

But that would mean that I am skipping this moment. And as I sat on my porch at my brother's and my quaint little rental A-frame house, I realized that some day I may want to return to this simple place. I may long for the summer where I have three weeks to lie around the house. I may fondly remember having late-night decaf coffee and watching Netflix until 3 a.m. when my heavy eyelids would let me watch no more. I may envy my carefree hours where my sisters and mother called just to chat for hours. I've finished my internship and my job is part-time every other weekend. I have no husband or children, no duty to anyone or anything in this moment. I don't have to be anybody or be anywhere. As much as I think I'm biding my time until I get to return home, I'm really on a solo vacation for possibly the last time.

So I sit on the porch, for the first time putting down my wedding planning book and just looking at where I am right now. Two birds fly above me in the afternoon sugar-colored clouds. The ivy-wrapped trees rustle quietly. The afternoon air is warm, bathing my body in relaxation. I lean my head back and sit on a simple white chair in shorts, a big t-shirt, and bare feet. I just went for a run, took a warm shower, and had a healthy veggie-filled meal. Not one sound of traffic can be heard over the distant hum of the air conditioner vent, evidence of the beautiful, crisp chill waiting for me inside my little house.

I thought decaf green tea with a blog-entry sounded nice, and just like that - I'm here. Sipping. Sighing. Typing. Thankful.

Not a care in the world. Thankful to God for all He has given me. And as much as I long for Andrew to be here and me to be his and him to be mine....I recognize that there is no time like the present.