Growth is a slow thing. There's no instant happy pill to a relationship. I was reading today in "The Purpose Driven Life" that our lives are like a battle strategy. When God gets a hold of our life it's as if he establishes a beachfront. Then he slowly starts taking over more territory, one battle at a time. His goal is to make you more like Christ. I can't believe how awesome this vision is. Instead of viewing "battles" and "hard lessons" as a constant barrage of God beating me down, they are really his loving way of teaching me how to let go of bad habits and develop new ones. The book said something crazy great - "Your character is the sum total of your habits."
WOW. I can't just say, "Well, I've always been impatient, controlling, or untrusting, so deal with it." No, I need to learn this same lesson over and over until it is a habit for me to be trusting, and glorifying God in all I do. I can't say I "am" something (like kind or loving) until I do it all the time without thinking. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit. So I'm going to start being patient with Andrew and trusting in God now - even if I'm starting for the fifth time. My goal is not to just win these battles and temptations - it's to grow more like Christ.
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