Meeting for the first time

I can't wait to meet him. It's probably good that I have to wait 2 weeks, though, because that'll give time for my adoration of him to die down a bit. So I've been talking to this guy for almost a year and I've never met him. We hit it off instantly when he first messaged me on Christian mingle and every day for a while on Facebook we asked each other a question - what are your greatest fears? what do you think about divorce? what kind of music do you like? what are your standards? what does Christiantiy and ministry mean to you? what's your family like? physical limits before marriage? the past? But since I wasn't in SC yet, we drifted in and out of conversation. Even when we started dating other people we kept in touch and offered to pray for each other and encourage each other. Like he was totally cool and patient with me when I blew him off for another guy.

Then, I don't know what happened. The last month he kicked things back into gear even though I had cooled things for a couple months and he asked me if I'm still giving him that first date I had promised him a long time ago. I just really enjoy talking to him. Until now it's never been the right time, you know? Then yesterday he asked me when we're going to meet? He's been asking me out on a date for a while but it just wasn't a good time.

And then we talked on the phone for the first time last night. And it's like my heart was opened for the first time in a long time. I don't mean that in a sappy way. I just mean that we clicked. An hour literally flew by with a guy I've never ever talked to before. And he made me laugh. so. hard. I've been in dozen's of little flings and I'm always trying to give guy's chances. In the end I'm just not interested and I'm really just prolonging their misery. This morning I woke up with a smile. I literally dreamed about him. We've been texting all day and I can't stop. He's driving 3 hours to meet me in 2 weeks which is the earliest we can work something out.

But this is insane, right? I need to meet him first. Shouldn't I have at least held hands or kissed a guy before I'm crazy about him? I don't know why I put off talking to him on the phone for so long. Maybe it's just been that God was saying not yet. Like I haven't felt this way about a guy since the 11th grade.

In case this is a sordid case of infatuation, I'm reminding myself of something I wrote about my last screw up relationship. "Am I doing it because it's physically/emotionally what I want? or am I doing it because it's going to bring him closer to God and what God wants?"

Yes, I WANT to be in a relationship, I WANT a leader, I WANT my own family some day. But it's not all about what I want. Am I protecting his purity and his relationship with God? Is this God-honoring? Is God #1 in my decisions? Because if I'm doing everything I can to honor him as a brother in Christ and put God first, I'm not going to be disappointed or embarrassed to have gone through with this. Because at the end of the day, if I've encouraged him and brought him closer to Christ, then it's a good day.

So I was kind of mean to him when he called me for the first time. He told me not to go easy on him, so when he called I had me brother answer the phone as if he were me. Adam told me later that when he heard a deep voice say 'hello this is angela' he was thinking 'um, I don't know if I'm making the trip to Greenville' LOLLLLL.

So, yeah. I am blown away by him. He's awesome and he's everything. SO FAR. What if he has 12 fingers or a tail?? I'm more worried about him being like 9 inches shorter than me than him being clinically insane or something haha. That's so shallow lol. No worries I WILL meet him in a public place and take all those precautions and stuff. I know you never truly know someone in this kind of situation. But I already love him haha. Not really, but you know what I mean. I'm going to marry him someday. Again, you know what I mean. :)