Love, Hate, and War

I have often been accused of being argumentative, and out-spoken... perhaps sometimes a little cynical and sarcastic. My childhood was a bitterly surpressed one, so it's no wonder that I have grown to realize that if I am to have a place in the world as the youngest sibling of my family, I must fight for it. My family knows even that statement is sarcastic, so it's no wonder that those closest to me consider me a great burden.

I believe my greatest conflict with debating comes because I know I'm right, but I can prove myself wrong. My brother-in-law Eric just read that statement over my shoulder, and spit in my hot-chocolate with his laughter. Let me explain that statement. (Now he's trying to attest to his innocence, and he says I'm not being very nice right now.) I have discovered that any discussion I come upon can have many answers (duh), and that the more one studies an issue, the more gray one can observe amidst the black and white. Best yet, I know this sounds wierd, but one can honestly take an opinion and just take the opposing view and go at it. It's kind of fun, and one finds the weaknesses in their own arguments. Many people (including myself) often want to take an adament position on issues, and it does feel good to be able to take a stand and fight for all your worth for that position. But any of us can find moments where we are confused when we defend our positions, because there are just many ways to look at an issue.

That's just something I noticed recently, so in a way that's a defense against being called argumentative, but in reality it's more just an observation.

I greatly appreciate those of you who contacted me by email, and by letter to express interest in my graduation. The ceremony actually went greater than I ever expected it could be except that my grandmother fell and went to the emergency room. Otherwise, it was so exciting! I was so touched by those who made such a big deal of the affair, and I was overcome when I looked to the back of the auditorium and saw one of my very own customers, Antony, sitting in our little church pews! Grace was there, too (with 25 dark red roses), and my family, and so many long-time friends and... wow I was just so overwhelmed with love for the world.

Then today, I was back at PotBelly, totally out of my element, and I hated the world. Heh, thus goes the endless cycle of love, hate, and war. Makes life more interesting, no? I figure, I don't aim for perfection, because I'd much rather feel something real and make the most of it. Wow, that was so profound. I do feel quite old and mature now that I've walked the magical aisle. La, the stages we go through in life. On that note... I will be leaving you to your summery evenings and hoping you the greatest peace in your life.