In Fact...

Right, so today I stood at the green counter and decided life was rather boring. Perhaps it was merely in my perspective that life was boring -- it could in fact have been very exciting and I just missed out today -- or it could be that I still feel focused very strongly on a certain issue, and even though deep in my gut I know there is no end to this argument (unless of course, I agree with those who disagree with me)... there seems to be an endless fountain of thoughts on the subject. It's on me mind. It's boring me, but it's on me mind. So it's welling up within me. No beliefs shall be altered. Might as well drive this into the dust, eh? What have I got to lose!

First of all, I'd like to thank those of my customers who have graciously visited my blog. You know how much I treasure and value your opinions - that is why I divulge some of your deep thoughts here. It's really fascinating - how much you can learn from passing conversations, passing witty thoughts, and even different infectious ways of saying 'hello' and 'goodbye'. Anyways, that was totally free.

Evolutionists. Very knowledgable people, I must say. But I wonder if they are really all that comfortable skirting around the issues they don't know, and spouting off about the issues they do know. (Regardless, they certainly deal with alot of issues).

In fact, as interesting as the perspective of the theory Evolution has been for me, Evolution is NOT Science. The literal meaning of 'Science' is 'knowledge'. Evolution is merely a way of LOOKING at knowledge - discoveries - new information - scientific processes.

Everyone is biased - duh. I have never read a work that was notpbaised, and if I ever did, I probably wouldn't finish it because it would be boring! So a 'bias', or 'leaning of beliefs' is inescapable for any religion (be it Evolution, Creation, or any other nut job out there).

One of my customers had a very good, simple way of describing this bias. If having a bias is like wearing a pair of glasses, then no matter what you study 'scientifically', you will be seeing it all through your choice of glasses (i.e. your bias).

For Creationists, it is fascinating to discover new things, because it does not have to 'disprove Science' or 'disprove facts'. No, when a Creationist Scientist studies and observes science, he sees added detail to Intelligent Design. Creatinist Scientists see a Detrimental or Neutral Mutation, and because of their bias, think 'That proves it. Only God could create a Beneficial Mutation'. Studying science through the shades of Creation, therefore strengthens the faith of the Creationist. This is not scientifically 'incorrect', it is merely a different way of interpreting the data. (As for new 'religions' poppin up all over the place, which give atheists cause to challenge 'which is the true god?' - I submit that the true god is the oldest God - the one God - the only God of the Bible. If a new god is being discovered in 2008, that is one pathetic and unpowerful god. Let's stick with the God you've always fought against, no?).

Evolutionists cannot create Beneficial Mutations - but through their bias, it is only logical for them to say triumphantly, "But that makes sense! Only billions of years could bring about something so complex."

Both ways of evaluating, are in fact in pursuit of "Science"/"Knowledge".

Because the concept of Creationism has been around for so long, many modern scientists find it too 'simple', 'unchanging', and quite possibly 'too-God-oriented'. This is unfortunate.

Evolutionists like to come across as "more complex", "more scientific", and "more accurate". When in fact, their technical terms are a pretty way to dress up what they DO know, and CAN prove (thinks that could in fact, have more than one way to look at it). Naturally, they quickly forgive the GAPS in their theories, look no deeper, and call it Evolution/Science. Indeed, Evolutionists are perched behind pileds of knowledge, but they see it all through a glass darkly.

Many children that are taught the theory of Creation all of their growing up years - go on to a secular college, and are immediately retaught all that 'science' entails. Do you suppose if a Scientist who has been trained all of his academic years to support the theory of Evolution were to find a contradiction to the theory of Evolution - he would actually deliver it up to the public or print it in textbooks? Most would scorn the idea - and like BLT said - would never believe regardless of conflicting evidence. No, my friends. They would automatically set about to disprove it... This is only natural, because they are strongly biased. Logically, they would call it an 'exception', and would quickly shelve it. This is merely a stipulation, of course, but it does give cause for ponder.

A Creationist, looks at the layers of our earth, and say "Yes, it is odd how each of those layers seems to represent billions of years'. And yet - a Creationist is willing to look deeper - NATURALLY - because he is willing to prove his bias. What a Creationist might find, is an uprooted tree - petrified straight up through those layers. Now he can ask - "Did the tree stand there and wait for billions of years of layers to build up around it? Or is the account of the Biblical flood possible?"

In response to all of the questions directed against me, I would honestly love to stay on and google 24/7, and alternate between debating every comment that contradicts my beliefs, but - in fact - I have a life. A boring one at times, albeit a very "full-of-potential and things to do" life. Ture - it is good to know what other's think and say - but in the end, few care to hear once again what 'others think'. They want you to speak for yourself.

For this reason, I find it cute that many of the evolutionists seem to have a 'Book of Links Promoting Evolution' on hand. Ask them a question, and they raise their hands eagerly... to pull down the 'Link Book'. Theny they, the master's of copy and paste, copy the approved Link in answer to any of their problems (with the exception of David. I appreciate your thorough insight, sir).

Truly, I tell my fellow skeptics (which literally means: thoughtful, inquiring), that the theory of Evolution is very smooth, it is very complex, and it has become - over the last only 150 or so years - the generally accepted modern answer to 'life'. But Evolution is just a way of looking at Science. Evolution is NOT Science.

Many years ago, the geocentric theory was FACT. Spontaneous generation (the concept that organisms come to life from non-living substances) was accepted until the mide-1800's. During the Middle Ages, it was believed that frogs and fish were formed during raisntorms. So, of course 'Science' (man's limited knowledge) is constantly changing!

To some, logical reasoning is truth. They feel it is true, if everything makes sense and is figured out. Mathematics is logical. 2 + 2 = 4. But, in fact - we are dealing with 2 + x = 5. You tell me what the answer is. (that's rhetorical, don't get defensive).

So, is it logical to come from nothing? I realize there are alot of technical terms for it all, but strip away the formalities and talk human. Is it logical for matter (which can be neither created nor destroyed, only altered) to create/evolve more matter through un-inspired mutations? Is it possible that modern Science has become skewed - quite popularly - so that man is told not to question - never to question (only ask for more knowledge 'humbly' - as I was instructed to try) - only absorb. And it is an untruth to accuse me of "not questioning" my beliefs and my upbringing and my God. I've questioned God on alot of things, and I've been searching for answers. He has never failed to show me that, while the world may constantly change and alter in so many ways, it is TRUTH that remains the same foundation.

The belief in God, as Supreme Designer of this world, however, is the only Simplicity about the theory of 'Creation'. Many mature evolutionists have mocked 'Godidit' - as though that is the answer for every scientific phenomenon that Creation Scientists discover. But, it is obvious that the life God created on Earth is VERY complex - something no man could ever duplicate, improve on, or seek to alter. Hoenstly. Think about it. Even if someone went about the process of putting an organism completely together, they could not make the organism function or even proces life.

Evolution is based on DEATH - each less superior animal or organism had to die off to give way to a new, better, improved organism.

Creation is based on LIFE - God made a mature world, and He made good on His perfect Creation right from the start. What does God need with evolution? If He can create something as complex as the DNA Double Helix (which Evolutionists cannot possibly credit to the theory of Evolution), He can certainly create man how he should be from the start - instead of evolving the first poor creature into some better version of Adam!

Another thing - while I'm at it - are these words by Darwin rejected by Evolutionists?
---"Long before the reader has arrived at this part of my work, a crowd of difficulties will have occurred to him. Some of them are so serious that to this day, I can hardly reflect on them without being in some degree staggered…"--- Darwin also said: "Not one change of species into another is on record…we cannot prove that a single species has changed (into another )".

While we're pulling for 'Link Books', here are some links you might like to check out and disprove for me.

http://www.creator-creation.com/evolution.htm

http://www.allaboutscience.org/dNA-double-helix.htm

www.icr.org

http://www.creationstudies.org/

and then, once you're exhausted from those (or comforted by completely ignoring them),

here's a happy familiar pro-evolution one you guys gave me. I send it right back atcha for your assurance in time of need.

www.talkorigins.org

I have discovered... The Definition to that which intrigues us All

I suppose life goes on... and yet I am still intrigued by all that I absorbed on Saturday (for I must confess, it was quite a lot to absorb).

I have to admit, I laughed out loud when I saw the comment about 'Christians purposefully going onto science journals in search of persecution', because I can imagine some Christians doing just that. It’s kind of similar to democrats who will call into Rush Limbaugh’s show, so that they can say, “Hey, I called into Rush!”. They, of course, are immediately shut up, and when they get off the air (sometimes without choice), their points are ridiculed into oblivion. And yet, still they call. Fascinating.

So, with the ‘scientists at large’ receding back into their comfortable corner, I feel more at ease talking to my normal readers. I feel I can confess the things I have learned with ease.

It is with great solemnity that I confess to having slept little the past couple of days, on the account of the definition of ‘Evolution’. Indeed it is a dreadful thing to hear in ones ears. All of Sunday, while I sat in my little pew at church, my mind was nagging me to get back to the previous debate. Even when I talked to people, it was steadily in the back of my mind. I had my last little obliterated word, and that was fine with me… But maybe there’s something deeper to it all.

Here’s what I mean. I thought of something…rather spontaneously. I was accused of not truly understanding the concept… the definition of Evolution. And honestly - I had a picture in my mind of little monkeys gradually losing hair and becoming, well, intelligent human beings. That, my dear readers, seems laughable.

So, what’s the solution? There’s always some kind of solution, no? I decided to find out what people in general think ‘evolution’ means.

So I posed the following ‘slightly controversial question’ to my endearing customers. “What do you think the definition of Evolution is?” Surprisingly, few of them asked ‘what kind of evolution’. They already KNEW that I was referring to the evolution which brought man, animals, and life’s existence in general about. And, if you fear my customers were offended or defensive, I can assure you they suffered no customer-abuse. One man put it this way, “I never shy away from a controversy.” I echo that.

So free speech reigns, my dear readers. These are directly from the mouths of average Americans, like you and I. Some of the words were penned by the customers themselves. Are you ready?

What is the definition of Evolution?

1. Where’s a good dictionary? There’s not really a definition. It’s a theory. It’s not proven. It’s the theory of evolution. It’s not the law of evolution - like the law of gravity.

2. That’s a good question.

3. That human beings were previously some other form of life. They evolved. Over one million years.

4. I think the definition of evolution is different for every person. Because everyone is constantly evolving into something different than they currently are. It also means- some of us are going backwards and are going forwards. Everyone will see it differently - like everyone’s in their own world, even though we’re co-existing together. For instance, if everyone were given a camera at a bridal party, the pictures taken would show all different angles.

5. You gotta have change somewhere in there… Um the process of like a graduated change to something… where the resulting entity that is changing is distinct from the entity that was at the beginning of the process.

6. Adaptation to accommodate environment.

7. It’s a thing we have scientific proof for. You can scientifically prove evolution.

8. Just life evolves. It gets better. It gets worse. The strongest survive. Darwinism. I don’t buy into the theory that the world is 10,000 years old - just because the Bible says it.

9. It’s a lie. Creation is the way it works. Evolution is alie. There are details - but to think that randomly chemicals can get together and build amoebas and amoebas can get together and build…whatever’s next… It ust doesn’t make sense. It takes more faith to believe in Evolution than Creation, because there are just so many gaps in Evolution. They find a “new” bone in Africa and exclaim, “That proves it!” There’s evidence that carbon dating isn’t really as accurate as they say it is. I think there’s a Creation Museum in Cincinnati Ohio.”

10. I deny to define it.

11. Things change as the environment changes.

12. Change. One word.

13. The process of adapting to one’s surroundings.

14. More towards what we would consider higher life forms.

15. Most people argue that it’s evolution vs. creation. But there are many Creationist-Evolutionists. Evolution is an adaptation - and ability for everything to adapt to it’s surroundings.

16. My definition of evolution is constantly changing.

17. Evolution is really nothing more than creation. Some people put history in it, but it’s really just creation.

18. Man evolved from Primates.

19. Change built upon change.

20. Evolution is the point at which some of us became superior to others.

21. Evolution is a scientists explanation for the existence of the planet.

22. First thing that comes to mind is change, adaption, and survival.

23. The graduation from simple to complex.

24. Animals/Humans evolving over time to best suit their climate and environment.

25. BIG BANG theory. Universe was created by atoms that compressed to a type of compression and then exploded in energy. However, it was engineered by an Intelligent Superior Being.

26. The change in an organization over a long perio dof time due to climatic or geographic changes

27. The theory that life on earth began without supernatural influence.

28. I defer to the dictionary.

29. Refer to #21

30. Stupid. Stupid is, Stupid does. There’s no way in **** that amoeba floated to land, then evolved into an iguana or something… then - into whatever.

Those were the definitions, and while I didn’t press anybody for their beliefs on the issues -- I wanted things as unbiased as possible -- one lady went a little deeper on one side of the spectrum.

I believe…
“I know evolution involves something like change - but it’s gotta be something bigger than that. Like, I believe in God - but could evolution also be possible? I know my job is constantly evolving to something different, and I as a person am constantly evolving (growing, changing) to something different. I’m just trying to figure out if I believe in evolution - like if God may be wants me to evolve to something better.”

Then, for a more precise (albeit difficult to understand) definition, I dug up a piece (yes, copy and paste! Isn’t it divine?) defining Evolution on www.talkorigins.org/faqs/comdesc/.
I drew from it, that Evolution (at least macroevolution, the piece clarifies) ‘in fact embraces a plurality of theories and hypotheses. What is vigorously challenged…is macroevolution. Macroevolution is evolution on the "grand scale" resulting in the origin of higher taxa. In evolutionary theory it thus entails common ancestry, descent with modification, speciation, the genealogical relatedness of all life, transformation of species, and large scale functional and structural changes of populations through time, all at or above the species level. Common descent is a general descriptive theory that concerns the genetic origins of living organisms (though not the ultimate origin of life). Because it is so well supported scientifically, common descent is often called the "fact of evolution" by biologists. For these reasons, proponents of special creation are especially hostile to the macroevolutionary foundation of the biological sciences.’

This last definition seemed to be a very long way of saying that, in fact - life started with…something? And then, something made that something into a man.

So, I am intrigued. I am sitting here, thinking, hmm. Right, so they look at a chair, and tell me all about how the chair is made. They tell me how old the chair is, and what kind of wood the chair’s made from, and what has sat on that chair… and yet there still seems to be something missing.

Perhaps this is more of a philosophical question, and yet it still must be asked. I am told to believe all of this… presumably by people far more intelligent than the average person… but it is understandable to wonder… if things are being formed, what is the driving force that is forming things? Sure, the chair is there… the chiseled-out-bones are in the museum… the technical words are splashed boldly against a computer screen. But, is all of that science? After all, science is constantly changing. The definition of science is constantly changing. The world is full of possibilities. I am sure if I were to ask the question ‘why’, (why or what force caused the first atom to be created, and this perfect atmosphere of ours to take shape) I would be told that is not a question I can ask. I’m not allowed to ask that question. Science cannot answer the question of morals. All right, but is ‘why’ a moral, or a philosophical question. Could ‘why’ or ‘what’ behind the forming of this great earth of ‘ours’ be the answer to the age-old debate of ‘evolution vs. creationism’, or as one man put it, ‘creationistic evolution’. Why was the chair formed or made? Did it just come to be, and it’s just waiting to be analyzed and debated over? Or is there something more… logical. Something that science cannot explain. Only logic… man… God can prevail on this one.

You see the turmoil I am in. So I have to tie this all up for now. So here’s the big clincher. My definition of the results that evolution brings…

(These have been implied by various commenters, so I can only assume that it was commented for the benefit of the concept of Evolution.)

Evolution seems to be saying that children do not have the right to choose what they learn in school. Okay. Evolution-grounded-Scientists have the right to decide for parents and children that morals and religion do not apply to America’s children. Right. Children also do not have the right to debate the issue, because the “science that is always changing” is already decided for them.

How am I doing so far?

I conclude, my dear evolutionists - if you happen upon this in a few dusty years, that you are a machine. The idea began, it took root, and then ‘evidence’ supported itself with ‘evidence’. Little discoveries are constantly being made, but who is to say that an objective scientist will conclude the objective result? Are you not all clearly biased - and have you not already said, that although science is changing, you will not see creation (or any other possibility) in a clear light?

My dear unbiased readers, and otherwise controversially drawn passers-by, I wonder if our evolutionists really believe that Creationists purposefully seek them out in pursuit of persecution… that they purposefully pursue the path of martyrdom. If I could, I would tell my dear evolutionists that they flatter themselves. They are not our enemy. They are merely the majority.

I have tried to be objective… and I fear I have come across rather strongly biased. It is funny. One commenter demanded the answer for God - who made Him? - why does He exist? And I demanded of evolutionists the answer for evolution - what possessed it to begin? - why does it continue? Yet one very wise man once put it this way. “We in our little finite minds try to explain the infinite.”

Truly, while some believe Evolution to be mixed intricately with Creation, I ask - why believe God at all if you can only believe Him half way? And why believe in Science, if it leaves you with no purpose to live?

Perhaps when I am old, wizened, and embittered, I will return to my little blog and type to my hearts content about the fallacies of ideals and hope in a Sovereign being, or a design that was Intelligent and Intentional -- but even in the future I believe the controversy will fascinate me, and spur me on to something deeper. Perhaps a deeper…definition. Because, as many of my customers made clear, who knows the answer? Who dares to put themselves above all - ‘superior’ as it was said (even superior to God), and tell us that they know exactly what happened billions of years ago? Hypothesize, by all means. But tell our children there is but one answer?

Never.

Haha, I've had the best Saturday in years. I've got that great thing they call 'a cold', and I'm crabby, and I'm still ready for bed at 3:36 in the afternoon. But, that of course, is not what is making my Saturday great.

Here's why. Check this out. http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/02/florida_land_of_the_delusional.php

I happened on this blog, and added my two little bits. Suddenly I found myself the target of every single commenter. It was great fun! Who cares if they're all Evolutionist and I'm a Creationist. I have my beliefs, they have theirs. Nobody changed, and nobody was converted, but I've never enjoyed a debate more in all my years. And I lost. I was severely outnumbered. But it was still amusing, how quickly all of these 'learned, higher-order, unquestioned' evolutionists began hating a little 17 year old for speaking her mind.

If you don't want to check out the link, here are a few things they said.

Is there any hope for Andria?
Andria: Go back to school before your mind turns into complete jelly.
Andria: You are part of the PROBLEM. America is going down the toilet because of people like you.
Gah! I'm really not in the mood for such flagrant, mind-destroying ignorance today. Won't someone PLEASE break out the duct tape and put an end to Andria's toxic, gaseous yapping?
Wow! This is the rudest I've been to anyone in, like, a year! Andria wins! She wins... a really nice prize. Of some kind. Or a weekend at the brain spa. It's free with the tour of the timeshares.
Seriously. I am sorry. And I'd say Andria is the real winner here. She's the one with the greatest opportunity to ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING HERE TODAY.
The world waits, with bated breath: Will Andria seize the day?
GO FOR IT, GIRL! Go for it.
For the love of all that's real or imagined... Go for it.

Another wrote:
Believe me, i fully understand what we are up against and this drive-by crea-troll Andria just isn't worth the effort.

One posed a good thought:
Take this statement by Andria:
My question for Evolutionists is - where did the speck come from? Who made the speck?
And then ask, "Who made God? Where did God come from?"

Another cynic:
I know God doesn't exist because if there were an omnipotent being capable of creating and guiding the development of living things, there'd be no excuse for the existence of people as utterly, deeply stupid -- and in this case, I don't mean ignorant, I mean STUPID -- as Donna Callaway and her wannabe butt-buddy, Andria.

Yet another:
Andria: I'll save myself and you a lot of venomous bileby having you prove that your imaginary god exists andhave it come down and smite all of us that have the nerveto question your insane beliefs. Come on, let's see this freaking god of yours. You cannot do it because all thissuperstitous crap is lodged in your deranged brain andwill forever misguide your pathetic and insane life.

A bit harsher:
I got bingo on Andria's #32 post alone! Right after I finished laughing at the first sentence, that is. Everyone else has already done the hard work, so I'll just chime in and say that Andria, you have said absolutely nothing that hasn't been said and shown to be wrong hundreds of times before, dozens of those times on this site alone. Google is your friend. Look up your "arguments" before you go spouting them off at the big kids' table.
And as for this, Whoever is doing this slamming, has clearly never tried to understand Christians., a lot of the slammers used to be quite dedicated Christians, so you can't use the "but they don't understand us" canard around here.

Here's one of those intillectuals with the uncanny how-to at poking fun:
All right, let's try logic, since apparently you all are not used to opposition.
LMAO!
Ten points to Andria for making me grin on this dull, grey day! Thanks! I take back every nasty thing I said! I take them back twice! Then I will eat crow! Three times!
"...not used to opposition."
Tee-hee.
[*shuffles off, muttering happily*]

I countered:
You guys are great! I like this one.
Mike O'Risal:As is typical for Creationists, she has no clue what the theory of evolution says and doesn't care because she's here not to discuss anything factual but to vomit forth her twisted, stupid, Medievalist, laughably asinine vision of a religion with its impotent, invisible, blood-drinking vampire of a manurepile of a deity.
Wow, ouch Mike. Did it hurt that much? How many adjectives can there be for such a sick, sadistic creature like me - coming into your wonderful world of scientific blog and stirring the bees-nest, eh?

Mike lashed out:
Andria,
It doesn't hurt me that you make up evil sky-giants in your head and worship them, no. It just makes you look like an idiot.
Unlike you and your fundamentalist brethren, scientists spend their lives trying to do something useful for humanity instead of creating sick fantasies of vengeful deities and basing mythologies on them.
There will never be enough adjectives for sick individuals who worship sick, bloodthirsty ghosts they invent. You can have your barbaric worshiping of death, but don't expect it to be supported by people who haven't sold their reason to your hoodoo spirits.
Nobody made you come in here and prove how stupid you are. Now you're bleating about the results of having revealed yourself. I think zombie Jesus must have eaten your brain.

Comments by Andria in bold quotes.

I have been brought up my entire life believing the Creationistic theory... I am a skeptic by nature,
Then why do you simply believe in the stuff you were brought up with? Isn't the burden of proof on those teachers as well?

I have tried to listen to his emphatic counter-pounding, and insistence that all fundamentals are wrong because of PROOF. I call shenanigans on this one. You're just setting up a straw man argument. Do you know what this is?
Suppose you asked someone to explain the operation of a nuclear reactor. Does it invalidate the existence of said reactor if that particular person doesn't know the math, physics and engineering and simply points to existence of verifiable theory and artifacts?

But when I asked him to please show me proof, So do you realize you are completely unfamiliar with how science works?
Have you demanded a proof of your god? Do you have such a proof to show us?

Therefore, sir, I am led to believe that evolutionists do not so much have a solid defense for what they believe, but instead have this unquestioning faith in their god-like peers.
Can you tell me how, based upon the performance of a few lay persons, you can generalize to pass judgment on the work of decades by thousands of people?
I'm not asking you to believe in their work, I asking if you can walk us all through how you can make such a leap of logic. Do you truly believe that your inference constitutes a proof of the validity of all evolutionary theory?
Or are you an intellectual coward?
Can you answer this last question. This is a challenge similar to the one you put to your customers. We are all waiting to hear. Now is your chance to convert us all.


Anyways, so I'll stop torturing you with the obvious wit of the evolutionists, and post here the few things I said that got them so riled. True, I'm not as 'old, mature, and arrived' as they are, but you have to admitt I bring up some good points.

Written by Yours Truly: Comment #15
Very interesting blog you have here. I have been brought up my entire life believing the Creationistic theory, and only recently have been challenged by one of my customers in heated debates, to be open to the theory of Evolution. I have tried to listen to his emphatic counter-pounding, and insistence that all fundamentals are wrong because of PROOF. But when I asked him to please show me proof, so I could be as knowledgable as he, he merely told me, "Well, everybody knows that creation is hogwash, and evolution is accepted by everybody!"
I am a skeptic by nature, which is the only reason why I was open to hearing this man out. And yet, the man began to footsie around (as many of my other customers have), and could not tell me why he believed straight Creation could NOT be true, except that he did not believe in God, and that evolution was just 'so accepted'.
Therefore, sir, I am led to believe that evolutionists do not so much have a solid defense for what they believe, but instead have this unquestioning faith in their god-like peers. I was fascinated reading over your blog-comments, because it seems like so many of your commenters took a lot of time to trash any body who disagreed with the way 'everybody believes', and what 'all scientists agree with'. That was all they had to say; "so and so is wrong and she's full of **** and her God is just another god, and I'm just another person following the crowd."
But, isn't it intriguing that some of these studiers of science have the courage to step out from among the throngs of popular belief, and say what they believe? I don't understand why so many people have this HATRED for anybody who doesn't bow down and believe the way they do! If the persons' opinion is so insignifant, then just let her talk! Let her say what she believes! Let her be wrong in your eyes! It takes alot of courage to go against 'what everybody believes and thinks'. At least she has more courage as an individual, than you have as an accepted evolutionist surrounded by the undying support of your unquestioning fans.
Posted by: Andria February 23, 2008 2:14 PM

Written by Yours Truly: Comment # 32
All right, let's try logic, since apparently you all are not used to opposition. Your only answers, as of yet, are 'she is wrong, because we say she is, and 'J' says she is, and my teacher in the third grade says she is'. But who decides 'the eyes of reality'? Are YOU reality? Who gave you that authority?
Perhaps you are not fighting out against Christianity, or me, or Calloway. Perhaps you are fighting against the thought that you might be wrong. Why else would you so vehemently deny anybody else's theories credence? All she fought for was establishing that EVOLUTION is a THEORY. It IS a theory, just as much as Creation is! Both are 'a priori', which means 'by faith'. Are you so scared that children will grow up and know that evolution was based on man, and not God? If Christians (and by the way, Landover Baptist Church is by no means Christianity) are just little bugs of opinions that need to be squashed, then why a dedicated sight to slamming all Christians - like they are some universal hate-force? Whoever is doing this slamming, has clearly never tried to understand Christians.
In my opinion, 'Christianity' is just a word. A word that is sorely mis-used, mis-represented, and hated before understood. What is more important, is how you believe, and you interpret God's word, and how you view life. God is not just an ideal. He IS reality. And even if you may deny it, all you have in the end - is your right to deny it. But it still doesn't make you right.

Written by Yours Truly: Comment #54
Haha, you guys are all ganging up on me. It's great. All right, I am told to understand that 'evolution' is 'highly complicated, and takes years of study, and only the best scientists can truly defend it'. I beg to differ. Sometimes the most complicated things have simple answers. And it's great cause you don't even have to be 3 to understand it!
So, since we are trying to teach our kids evolution in the second grade - when is it that they will be able to understand it? Eh? In the 7th grade perhaps? Or maybe when the graduate from high school? When do all of the complicated pieces fall into a comfortable pattern of circular reasoning so the child can rise and type on a blog - 'my! I have all the answers!'
While I am not going to put on a highly-educated front of 'knowing everything' like some on this site are apt to do, I will say that there is a primary difference between the theory of Evolution and the theory of Creation.
Creation starts with - God.
Evolution starts with - what is it again - a cell? A highly powerful speck of life-potential? RIGHT. We all know the theory. That speck became highly-intelligent human beings with the ability to think and reason and then die peacably - without worry of hell of heaven or any other such nonsense. Evolution tells man that he is responsible to no one, because man came from nothing. And better yet -- Evolution (devised by woman-hater Charles Darwin) has been around a whole 150 years! Wow - this shocks me. Here we've been around billions of years -- and all of our extensive proof and reasoning goes back 150 honkin years. That's huge!
My question for Evolutionists is - where did the speck come from? Who made the speck? I'm sure you're used to this coming from skeptics and other such annoying challengers of your methods (pardons for calling it a faith), but just for the absolute fun of disagreeing for a second - where did the speck come from? How did life come about? Man accepts the ability to breathe and think as naturally as he accepts the sun will shine the next day. And yet - it is not idealistic to wonder if an exhorbent amount of time + a speck = life and intelligence. It is, in fact, realistic to doubt.
I realize I'm barking up a dead tree, and this will only be picked apart by people who determined it was wrong before they read it, but I can't help but wonder whether the simple answer of 'yes, God did it', is more logical than 'chance brought me about, and by a miracle of nothingness, and the highly-thought-out theory of the speck, my complex brain took form and here I am'.
I am not oblivious to you who are staring at your screen, getting your buttons pushed and itching to find my chokable-neck, but why not challenge yourself? Since I'm already making you 'rightly testy' (and no, I don't shy away from a debate), how do you reason that everything so detailed, and so complex in this world - came from nothing? How do you KNOW there is not a God?
If life can come from chance (for that IS what your theory is based on), why can't chance defy death?
Tell me, if you have the answer for life, what is the answer for death?

"You will never be your best doing it someone else's way..." - Rush Limbaugh

I think of all the things in the world that I love to do… I love to free write. I want to travel someday, and sit on the edge of a highly exotic foreign hill, and write without a care in the world. Perhaps stretched out on a rock far away, I can imagine no one will judge me there. Or, I could sit here at my humble little computer and imagine I am at the top of a hill in Greece. Yes, if I cannot have the blue-green sea and the stark white buildings come to me, I will imagine them into my living room. Sometimes, imagining is much more fun than actually having.

I like to imagine that my house is really organized. That, my friends, is truly a boon of an imagination. Every time I go to look for a lid to put on a Tupperware of cookies, none of the lids fit any of the dishes. You would think something so simple would not bother a highly-complex individual like myself, but indeed, it bothers me greatly. My dear mother, bless her heart, signed up for a ‘de-clutter your life’ class. When the day of the class came, though, she announced that it was too cold, and she’d better not risk the trip (because, you know the cold causes accidents all the time). So, that brings us up to a present-day experience. My Dad says, “Andria, put the brownies away so I won’t be tempted to eat them.” So, I shuffle over to the cupboard, and have to ravage it for a full 10 minutes before I find a two-some that will keep my brownies safe. I have the same organizational problem with socks (and I love socks!). Right before I'm headed to work, there is always one sock missing. And shoes! There are never two of the same shoe when I need them. Wow, this is opening my eyes. These problems really do not solve themselves, eh? Well, if it helps any, my college-chest is very organized.

I am decidedly sick of politics today. I find the argument in America's many issues are fascinating, because there are so many ways to see things. But today at The Shop where I serve coffee (and other delicious victuals and condiments), I had to defend myself in no less than 5 heated political debates before 10:00 in the morning. (That may have been the consequence for posting a quote by Rush Limbaugh by the cash register.)

I rather enjoy these debates, because it opens my mind to new ways to defend my opinions. I feel alive for once, because I actually have something to do besides smile and say, “Please give me all your money.” Frankly, unless I back down and concede something in one of these lively debates, those who leave my shop are wrong, and I who stay behind the counter - am right. I’d tell them that too, and it would probably be a good laugh for us both. I don’t mind being told I am wrong, or being taught new things, but I still believe what I believe. I’m not changing on that. I full well know that I have changed no democrat for the better, either. But, still, the points must be made.

Yet, how fun is it when somebody disagrees with you and then has the audacity to accuse “You’re not listening!” - but in fact is not listening himself? It’s not. Such a guy came in to The Shop today. I’ll call him Bob. I like Bob, and we’ve debated on numerous occasions . But when I countered Bob’s arguments today, he became aghast and looked at me in a bit of shock. “That’s fascism! Despotism!”, he gasped when I said I thought users of illegal drugs should be put behind bars for the safety of American people. I laughed, as I am apt to do whenever something becomes too somber, but he did not laugh. He continued to hammer his point - that minor offenders should not be subjected to our prison systems where they become gang members - as if he thought he could change my mind by convincing me that he was right, and I was too young and stupid to understand such things. I realize I don’t know everything, but I hate it when someone gets up in my face with the intention of taking the humor and the spunk clear out of me.

There are actually a couple gents that come into The Shop just to debate with me before they head off to work. This is refreshing for me, because all of their many biases and lively, jesting opinions become a virtual jump start for the cables in my brain. But after Bob I didn’t feel like debating politics with a few people, because I felt so disturbed that I had actually had my first unpleasant political discussion with someone I actually respected a lot. I felt like Rush Limbaugh without the whole ‘I can hang you up’ leverage. It was a momentary confusion, but I intend to throw aside that cloak of darkness, and plunge ahead into the unknown light. So, I don’t know all. That’s nothing new. All the more to learn then! Ah, the relief I find in these realizations of mine!! Back to the simplicities in life!

I will imagine I am asleep in bed, all curled up with my cat at my feet, and someone is reading this blog. That, I can write about freely, don’t you agree?

Obama vs. American Idol. Not much of a discussion? Oh, I beg to differ. I caught a bit of Obama in Texas tonight between commercials of AI, and was definitely impressed at what he had to say. I even detected a little Texas twang in his voice, as he said, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, so much.” (that was pretty much all he said). For emphasis he added, “Ya’ll certainly know how to come out.” Or something moving like that, which roused the 20,000 plus starry-eyed supporters into more violent sign-pumping. It was amazing! All the man had to say was ‘Thank you’, and people went wild!

In contrast, the popular Simon on AI got collective boos whenever he gave a bit o’ constructive criticism. Granted, with his style, he has no right critiquing anybody’s style. But at least he adds some spice to the show. Without him, it would just be ‘yo, yo, yo man’ and Paula’s white-lipped, assuring smile.

Enough with politics. The game reminds me of chess. Ever play chess with someone who pretends to be bad, but has really been playing the game for years? I've done that. I sat down, thinking, 'yeah, I can do this. Poor sucker.' I always begin with the 'Audacity to Hope', and end with a bit of reality. Check-mate! I hate hearing those words, because it means I am most likely not saying them! I've won against such master-minds rarely, but I've learned the trick to maintaining the victory over them all. Beat them once, and never play them again. The losers' way out, yes, but it feels good in a sad, idealistic way.

I wonder if this too can parallel to politics. The games, in fact, do coincide. Two opposing candidates sit down and face each other, each one with a hand on a pawn. Both have similar hopes and dreams. One takes out his opponents horse, but as a consequence loses his knight. It's a give and take game, but there's a deciding difference between the loser and the winner.

The winner sees the check mate in 3 moves. The loser is desperately limping his little pawn down the side of the board in hopes of a queen.

The winner is looking calmly at his pieces. The loser is defensive.

It's all very complicated, and while I cannot profess to be the Queen of Chess Geeks, I do know a thing or two where at least Chess and Geeks are concerned.

Blind to Barack Obama

Have you ever had to extricate a lost, folded-up contact from the high-corners of your eye? May I be the first to assure you, it is the most painful process. My testament alone could scare the blind and wearers of glasses into a forever inferior state. Truly, contacts are ingenious inventions, but to lose the mere slip of genius in ones’ eye is… irritating to say the least.

I was on my way to the family computer tonight, pondering deeply on what I would write about (for if one were to sit down and always know what one was to write about, that would be very lame). Then, the incident with the contact happened, and I’ve just now come from rolling my eye about and pinching at my eye-ball in pursuit of the devil of a contact. I sat down with it on a victorious finger, and thought - hah! Ingenious! I shall write about the necessity for America to abolish the contact, and force laser-surgery upon all US citizens (illegal immigrants excluded) (imagine having to clarify!).

Can you imagine what a fuss the people of America could make before the Senate would finally hear us? Polls would be sent out, and the people would vote unanimously. Free laser-surgery for all. After all, what better to pay taxes for? The liberals would check the polls and immediately decide to raise taxes for the purpose of pleasing the people. Stations might be set up, and people would be requested to please step up to their booths and have their eyes zapped. And what a great way to tell the difference between the legal immigrants and the illegal immigrants! Any person wearing glasses or stumbling about as result of vision disrepair would surely be given the boot to the border!

Another thing. With better vision, Americans’ in general would be able to see our Presidential candidates a little closer. I believe that America will choose Barack Obama as the next President. I agree that on the surface, the man has a very nice smile, and he sounds very nice, and he dresses very nice. Everything about him is just… so nice. These are the things I hear, when I ask my coffee-customers why they are going to vote for Obama. But, I am a skeptic by nature. That is only his surface. What is beneath the crisp suit and the wide, white-toothed smile? The man supports everything that I morally cannot support. While I have been impressed by his rousing speeches, and his level-headed wife, I wonder if America would not do good to get the cataracts of American Idol out of the eyes, and give the future-President of America a good hard look.

Another comparison, while I am looking closer at our nations’ leaders. Hillary is a parrot. If I hear her repeat one more time, “I am so ready to be the next President of the United States! I am excited about what I can do! I will be the President!” - I will go shoot something. (most likely with a rubber band, so rest easy). The politicians of America would do good to stop telling America what they can do, and start telling America what America can do.

Since I do not support McCain with his snake-like smile and poll-seeking opinions, and I don’t believe that the conservative Huckabee has much of a chance because of his liberal background, I am forced to make a wild conclusion. I believe of all the evils, I would prefer to witness the evils of Obama in office. I would rather watch a speech made by him, or hear a talk show host exploiting his words, or read a headline with his words quoted, than I could bear watching
Hillary tell my country one more time how she can see herself leading the America she is clearly blind to.

The Inevidable Tick-Tick

Time is the only thing that separates us from one incident to another. We could drive calmly down a street, that had once witnessed a terrible accident. The only thing that separates us from the squeal of wheels, and the sickening crunch of metal - is time. We could stand on the shore of Long Island, looking up on that tall and ageless Statue of Liberty. We could feel that we are all alone, but the only thing that separates us from the past teeming generations of homeless immigrants - is time.

I was reclined on a bench outside some restrooms the other day, and began to observe people - as I am often apt to do when in a bored or contemplative nature. I noticed a startling thing. Old people - shuffling from the bathroom, and then the contrast of the young chubby hands clinging to their fingers. It is not as though the thought of ‘age’ suddenly walked up and hit me in the face - and said, “Hello, I’m coming for you soon.” But, I realized that time is the only thing that separates the old from being what they once were - young, unaware, and unconquerable. Profound, no?

It just struck me - that America - with all of her cures and conveniences and answers - can do nothing for death. I suddenly felt pity for the middle -aged woman who looked haggard and tired. I wanted to inform her, “You have the disease! How can you walk on like life is so long? Quick! Live, while you still have time!" The brevity of life, for the first time - hit me. I’ve always wanted to die young , because people always flock to and cry over a young body being lowered into the ground.

“Such a shame!” they whisper amongst themselves. “She had so much to live for!”

But, now, I’ve quite realized that, yes, life is short. No, I don’t like movies where a story begins with a person born pink and healthy, and then crows ’The End!’ after showing their fallow white faces on the death bed. That’s just plain depressing!! But, I’m realizing that I want tomorrow, even though it is no guarantee. I figure every moment I am still living and breathing -it's a pretty good thing I've got. My youth is something I can never run back for, because the day I was born, I began to get older. Imagine that! Growing up, all of my friends couldn’t wait to be one year older - and yet I always felt deep inside that my days were numbered. So how do most people spend their time? This is a mystery to me.

My solution? Live! No irony or philosophy there! I don’t long for death any more than the next person, so I am certainly not going to wake every morning with doom in my eyes. I believe life should be enjoyed! Everyone seems so focused on themselves. The depravity of man, they say. But when all are done helping themselves, who will remember anyone when they are all gone? My what a contemplative mood I am in! And yet, it seems inescapable. I believe more than ever that there is a purpose for living. Why would God give us breath, and not want us to believe He stood us up on these feeble, human legs for a reason? Yes, I believe in God, more than anything else I believe in. After all, with time holding me in its grasp, how can I not believe in the One who has power over time? Isn’t it fascinating, to think that someday - time will be no more?

My country would do good to remember how we were founded. I had a recent debate with a man with beady eyes and leathery skin. I call him ‘My Cynic’, and when he heard that, he seemed rather shocked and then he laughed and said, “Yes, I like it.” My Cynic argued that my country was not founded on Christian principles. This, I learned, is a common enough debate. I, of course, dusted off books and spread them before him courageously - but not because the point needed to be proved. It’s because I believe, with all my heart, that my God is not done with my America. Time may separate us from the heroes that went against all reason and fought the red coats, but the soil where we stand is still beneath our feet - as it was beneath theirs. The question is - what will we do with it?

Saturday’s are wonderful things. When my customers politely asked on ‘Happy Friday’ what my weekend was going to consist of, I confided my plans in them. “I plan to sleep in.” That alone, is a big occasion for me. But plans go awry. Often, I plan to ‘go to bed early’. That never happens, so I suppose my dream of ‘sleeping in’ was naturally doomed.

My sister and brother-in-law, two newlyweds who always seem to be buying something new, invited my brother and I to go shopping today in Chicago. The store of allurement was ‘IKEA’. I had popped my head into the fascinating Minnesota IKEA a summer ago, so I thoughtlessly agreed to ‘11:00’ on Saturday. Note to myself: Never make Saturday plans for anything before noon!

Naturally, to ‘be ready on time’, my brother and I were summoned from sleep by my Dad who declared it was ‘time to get up’. As one might imagine, my response was more than mildly crabby.

The parking-lot of IKEA was teeming with cars of people that were ‘waiting’ for a parking spot in the most inconvenient places. The joy of screwy map quest directions, combined with tense words for bad maneuvering - found our four-some rather ruffled by the time our feet entered the fair IKEA entrance. I sensed that some in our party were annoyed by these little traveling dilemmas - kind of like people who are annoyed by a cloud of gnats every time they try to sit down.

Regardless, IKEA was a world of fully-furnished rooms, and unique twists on average products. The countless varieties of baskets began to play with my mind. Did I need a basket? What if I could use that basket? The options bewildered me, and my full hands found themselves a shiny, happy cart, which soon became piled with items that were ’cheap’ and that ’I might be able to use’. I knew most of my chosen treasures were unnecessary, but the thought of later regretting NOT getting them - plagued me. That kind of basket might not be anywhere else! And certainly not for that price! Yes, I needed the basket. Thus, is the way my intricate thought-process works.

Since I refused to pay the 59 cents for a bag, I resorted to the old-fashioned method of carrying all of my purchases. My poor brother followed me all around the store, because nothing seemed too alluring to him - and he was safe passing by colored alarm clocks, organizing bags, 99-cent pillow shams, and adorable little cactuses (I never liked cactuses before today) for 4.99. I, unfortunately, was not safe, but I determined if I was destined to spend money, I would spend it on things for college. What better than a cactus to look after while at college! (just kidding) (although I did think about it)

When I got home, I greedily collected all of my purchases (yelling at my brother for misplacing my awesome blue basket), and spread them before my mother - all the while feeling happy in my heart for the good I had brought into my home. There’s something satisfying for a woman when she shows another woman what she has and the other woman hasn’t. Mystifying, I know, but facts are hard things.

Ever since I got some brand new sheets that I had no particular use for, I have been putting odd assortments of ‘college things’ in a big antique, cat-scratched chest. I have turned the opening against the wall so that I won’t sneak in and ‘borrow’ one of my saved items. I carried up the IKEA items and buried them forever in the college vault. I snapped the latch shut with solemn sacredness.

An investment in the future. Truly.

I would have loved to live back in 1066, during the Norman invasion. You know why? Because out of the middle ages, came BEOWOLF. MY FAVORITE LITERATURE OF ALL TIME.

NOT. When I first began studying what was labeled ‘difficult to understand’, I thought - my, but I have a greater level of understanding than most, so this shall be fun. (shall - pause for the violent crossing out of the old English word). I rose to the challenge, and I did understand it, but when I finished, I could not help but think that the only reason why it is ‘good’ is because it is ‘old’.

So THAT is why I would love to live in the middle ages. I could become a controversial woman monk, and scribe down my words that would become famous works of literature, forced upon would-be-literature-lovers worldwide.

The Weather of Death, Speedway Cappuccinos, and the Showdown of Debates

Romney has dropped out of the presidential race, and about the only thing captivating my interest now is the weather. It’s friggin cold. My dad, brother, and I were traveling home from church tonight, and I moaned, “This is how I will die.” And then I shuddered violently, for good measure.

Luckily for Jon and I, my father is a Speedway cappuccino fanatic. I do mean fanatic. Church comes hand in hand with cappuccinos. On the way home from evening services, we always amble into Speedway and fill ourselves up THE stuff. “Do you think tonight is a CAP night?”, my father asked casually. (we have become so intimate with cappuccino’s - that they are now CAPs). We looked at him dryly, knowing there was no response necessary, and my brother maneuvered us smoothly into the front most Speedway parking lot. I opened my door, narrowly avoiding an iceberg of snow to my right, and we entered our Speedway with the utmost familiarity. My Dad nodded friendly-like to all of the gas-station attendants. (We are some of their most faithful regulars, so they nod back and smile.)

With steaming cappuccinos’ in red-and-blue mottled fists, we ran to the car. It’s funny to see people run in odd weather. Have you ever noticed that? Rain brings it out in most people. If you ever sit in a parking-lot long enough during a rain-storm, you can watch people dodging and flailing over cement and then fumbling with umbrellas so they can dive into the safety of their car. It becomes amusing. Cold, therefore, is doubly amusing, because people have nothing to dodge, and yet there they are - running with scrunched up shoulders and pinched faces so that they may fumble with their keys and dive into their cars.
As the car warmed up, and I continued chattering (I’m sure the two had no connection whatsoever), a discussion arose.

Question stated: How many electrical lights are there in Milwaukee?

A thought for pondering, to be sure. Jon provoked my thoughts by adding, “I have one for you. Are there more street lights than people?”

“No,” I said easily. There was no debate there for me.

But he continued, “What makes you so sure?”

“Think of all the cars that pass by the street lights. There are dozens more cars than streetlights, and there could be dozens of people represented by a couple cars.”

“But I’m not referring to cars. The cars may just be a passin through. I’m referring to people within residences.”

“Still, there are far more people to my right and my left than there are street lights before me.” (I thought that was profound)

He pointed to my left, “Ah, but there are street lights to your left.”

“No, those are parking lot lights. You didn’t say parking lot lights. You said street lights.”

Sparring often doesn’t need much of a reason in my family, and it’s strikingly evident in our most avid debates.

The man came out in my dear brother and he challenged, “But I meant parking lots, too. All lights.”

“Then, where is the end? No, you said street lights, and since you did not specify clearer, the parking lot lights are parking lot lights, not street lights.” I sat there smugly, and could see I had won the issue.

“Still,” he defended bravely (for it takes a certain amount of bravery to defy me), “There are two street lights on every pole.”

“Ah, but did you say poles? No, you said street light. Oo -- and if you think about it, light that floods a street is ONE continuous light. So, my dear brother, you see you are beat. There cannot possibly be more light than people, because light is one continuum. This light here is all street light.”

His knuckles gripped the wheel hard, and if my peripheral vision served me correctly, I’d say his silent, grim face was a testament to my victory.

Fresca Degenerate, and Cartoon Super-Star

Who ever said sprite was supposed to make a sick person feel better? I just drank 'Fresca' - a mutated version of Sprite - and now I'm hiccupping and feeling sick to my stomach. My brother was the one to pick out this miracle-discovery-soda and I feel a certain amount of bitterness is due him. But he always was one to pick out the 'new soda's'. Somehow just the fact that there is a new 'flavor' out on the irresistible Pick’n Save shelves makes him enthusiastic about making everybody like it. I've decided. I do NOT like Fresca.

CPR. It’s fascinating how quick people are to say, “I know CPR!” because they have read a book about it, or they once passed by an ambulance that was employing it, or they watched it performed on H.O.U.S.E. But, I have them all beat! Today, after taking an extensive course that taught me correct (never sloppy!) compressions, abominable thrusts, and making out with various plastic beings, I was handed a card that declared ME a certified CPR technician. It wasn’t quite worded like that, but that was the idea. Now if I happen upon a blue and unresponsive person I can whip my card out and assure them of my abilities.

While at that CPR class, I discovered that I was sitting next to a famous little girl. She seemed normal enough. Just a little oriental girl, with a big all-knowing smile that declared she was learning CPR so she could baby-sit. I took one look at her and thought she was very small for her age of 12, and that if she wanted to baby-sit, she’d best look after small babies. She seemed a little mouthy, but in a cute way. Her tall, red-haired mother was just as mouthy - at some points exasperating the instructor into saying to her, “You’re just gonna make this real fun, aren’t you, lady?” The father was even taller, and very slow and quiet. He had a large birth-mark on his forehead that made him seem somehow like a helpless, friendly giant. A younger oriental girl accompanied them for the first session, but for later decided that her friends’ house was more exciting.

Anyways, so we started out our class and the lady starts slapping magazines down in front of the rest of us not-so-famous-soon-to-be-CPR-technicians, and we were faced with pictures and articles of Jade-Lianna Peters. We all exchanged high eyebrows and looked closer at the little oriental girl to see if she looked like a Nickelodeon cartoon star. The mother chatted happily about how they had gotten back from Las Vegas only the night before, where her little girl had been given a premier night party in her honor. The girl finally rolled her eyes and said, “That’s enough, Mom.” It was borderline-disrespect - I could tell by the expressions of the mother and a nearby nurse. And yet, it seemed in the girls saucy, intelligent character to say what she was thinking.

I looked closer at the cartoon characters, and thought - wow- 2D graphics must be all the rage. Truly, the koala bear and china land were both simplified to a great extent. Needless to say, that was my dramatic brush with fame.

I'm still hiccuping. That's a frickin long time to hiccup. Blast you Fresca.

Winter denies Northerners of their sanity. I went to work, feeling the usual thrill of Friday, and thought, wow, it’s snowing again. Imagine that. I felt like I was living in a constant winter-land…

Truly, it is hard to remember what heat feels like. A spring jacket? Short sleeves? What’s that?

My Dad gets wild ideas. Tonight, he yelled up the stairs, “Kids! Winter cookout! Andrea, can you get the onions and condiments together, please?” I don’t like the word condiments. Normally, I don’t like the words ‘winter cookout‘, either… but I’ve learned from past experiences to just smile and get the condiments.

“Sure, Dad.” I had been sleeping deeply, and went back to that happily. There’s something about needing to get up that makes sleep sound even better.

When my brother Jon and I shuffled out there, we were delighted to see that my Dad had shoveled a path way through the backyard, leading to our cozy campfire. The knee-high walls of snow seemed cool somehow. It took me back to a time when my brother and I used to try to make forts. But this, tonight, was the coolest fort of all times, and it even involved fire.

Lawn chairs surrounded the fire pitt, and my Dad eagerly told us we each had a log to put our feet on.

“To keep your feet from getting wet!”, he explained happily.

My Dad is happiest around a campfire. I’m not exactly sure why. I think maybe it has something to do with ‘child hood memories’ or something inspiring like that. He told us mid-bite of charred hot dog, that he used to make winter-campfires as a boy, and he can still remember sipping hot chocolate, and biting into a fruit-filled cookie. He would look out on the lake, and keep warm by the fire. Even as he told us the enchanting story, his eyes stared deeply into the fire as though there was a little boy in there. Jon and I said nothing, but kept twisting our sticks of hotdogs, trying to keep our knuckle hairs from singeing off.

Warmth. There’s an issue there. The fire was hot, no doubt about it. However, I have learned that all fires in cold weather have a curse. One half of you is always cold. That is the curse of the campfire. The minute your legs feel like they’re about to roast and enter an edible state, your back is an ice-prick of wind and dampness. Then, you turn and the situation reverses itself. You could almost get exercise trying to keep yourself warm. The exercise alone might warm you, but then again, the exercise could violently land you too near the fire and do away with you all together. Not the desired experience at all.

My Dad makes corny jokes when he’s happy. I set myself up comfortably. I had a mug of milk stationed in the snow. The thought of its’ ice-coldeyness makes me shiver even now. After roasting my first marshmellow and creating a chocolate-melting phenomenon of a smore, I stuck my long fork in the snow to cool it down. When my Dad borrowed mine, he melted off the snow by putting it in the fire.

“Look at that snow!” he said, clearly delighted at his power over the stick. He pointed to the marshmellow and joked, “Look, that bit of snow won’t come off. My goodness that snow has resilience! It’s amazing! Jonathan, Andrea, look. The snow’s not melting!”

“That’s marshmellow, Dad,” I said, my voice monotone and unimpressed. I kept my marshmellow turning rapidly in the fire because I fear I am not the patient type.

“It’s snow!” he said, his undeterred eyes blazing a light of their own.

Jon remarked, “Look. Wow. Andrea’s snow is on fire.”

That’s the great thing about marshmellows. They catch fire really easily, and on more than one occasion I’ve watched people make a dramatic affair out of it. “Oh!”, they cry, looking about to see if anyone’s watching, and then they say even louder, “My marshmallow’s on fire!” duh. Then they wave the stick bravely through the air, grimacing just in case the fire travels up the metal and bites their hands off. While every one jeers, the person blows spit wads by the thousands about the campfire, to put the thing out. Then, there is silence. Smoke. Then the sound of crunching burnt marshmellow in someone’s mouth. In the end, it’s no big deal. Thus was the reason why I calmly blew the thing out (avoiding all the other brilliant steps) and glared victoriously at my brother.

He threw a snow ball, remarking calmly on what great packing-quality it was. I threw it back, taking it personally. My Dad kept staring happily into the fire.

I was cleaning (!) out the headboard behind my pillow today, and found all of the things necessary to a girl’s night-life.

First: two scissors in case something should attack me in the middle of the night
Second: tape. Not just any time - invisible tape. This is kept close at hand for those tape emergencies, when you can’t find tape anywhere.
Third: a mirror in case I should decide to become vain
Fourth: A journal where I may record my most intimate desires
Fifth: A black inky pen - for writing
Sixth: A highlighter, for the times when I need something yellow
Seventh: A college magazine to keep my mind focused like on the future
Eight: A stuffed piglet from which I may draw bouts of happy Babe-like thoughts
Ninth: A flashlight, should the need arise to check for beings residing beneath my bed
Tenth: A glade candle, for inhaling at dire times of need
Eleventh: A blue water bottle so I may avoid staggering through the dark in search of midnight-refreshment (stray nail… misplaced litter box… that can be painful)
Twelfth: A calendar with daily words of inspirational wisdom, so that I can be reminded of my good fortune to have such a well-stocked bed-place.
Thirteenth: Headphones. I am not sure why these are there. They’ve just always been there.
Fourteenth: Anti-biotic ointment, should I wake and need polymeric B sulfate/bacitracin zinc/neomycin sulfate (I.E. infection preventor).
Fifteenth: Two pictures of me when I was a wee lass. In one I am shyly holding the American Flag - It’s a very moving picture….quite patriotic of me. In the other, I am playing with my brothers’ cars - a fond memory because he was a very possessive toy-car owner, and rarely felt pressed to share with his car-starved sister.
Sixteenth: There lies the string that once activated and deactivated my light-fixture from the middle of the room. This was once convenient, until my cat ripped it from lofty heights. She rather despises the string now that it has been demoted.

The Glorious Mark Belling and tonight's Movie

Most annoying things people can say during a movie:

What happens next?
Does he die? He dies, doesn’t he.
I can’t look. Tell me what happens.
Go back, go back.
That’s not possible. That doesn’t make sense.
What? That’s the end? What the…

My family and I watched an enchanting Western film tonight called 3:10 to Yuma. It’s one of those new movies you see splashed against the windows of Blockbuster with the intention of making you curious. I’m going to ruin it for you. So don’t read this next sentence if you don’t want it ruined. Up, too late. The main good guy dies. The bad guy kills everybody and then goes on a train to get hanged. The son lies weeping over his father's good body. A lot o’ fascinating blood and gore. Hating me now, aren’t you? Eh, that’s okay. You should have watched it sooner.

Now to change the subject drastically. This next matter excites me greatly - even more than the convenient snow blustering outside! I called into Mark Belling’s show today! That’s right. THE most amazing conservative talk show voice. For those of you who know Belling, he chews out his callers whether they’re right or wrong. That makes him fascinating to listen to, but terrifying to talk to. The first time I tried to call in, my hand was shaking so bad, I had to put the phone down. The second, I chickened out last minute, and said, “Wrong Number.” On my third courageous effort, I was told my call was unnecessary, and I hung up the phone with a feeling of relief. It was the fourth attempt at calling in that proved to be my moment of glory. My heart gets excited just thinking about it. Belling was conducting a poll to see how many of his listeners were sick of hearing the rant and rave against McCain. “All right, I’ll take the first 20 callers. I don’t want any opinions. All I want is for the caller to say ’Keep ripping McCain, or shut up and leave him alone.” I was listening, of course, and a feeling of pride rose within me. This was something I could do. My hand rested on the smooth of the phone, and then I picked it up with flourish. The decision was made, and the redial button was punched many times. The screener was very nice. She even asked me what my name was. Kindly, she advised me to keep my radio off and wait my turn. Belling went from caller to caller so quickly I didn’t have time to be nervous. Then it was my turn. “Andrea, keep ripping or shut up?” he asked with zero emotion. I actually laughed, I was so nervous, and tried to make my voice sound important, “Keep ripping.” I hung up quickly, my fingers momentarily riddled with Parkinson’s. The deed was done. I ran into the living room where my family sat mute and admiring the 9 feet of snow, and crowed, “I JUST CALLED INTO MARK BELLING!” Then, of course, the radio got turned up to that glorious top notch, (because radio has that great delay thing) and my family heard my infamous voice. “Keep ripping.” The words echoed over and over again in my ears. I sat in a comfortable chair amid praise and admiration, and hoped I had said the right thing. I should have said, ‘Keep ripping, Mark!’, instead of just a dull ‘Keep ripping’. That would have made it more personal. He might have remembered me, then. But then again, I might have gotten all mixed up if I had too much to say. I might have said, “Keep Mark ripping.” Or “Mark Keep Ripping.” Or even worse, “ Ripping Keep Mark.” There - I’ve run out of variations. But how exciting to have a voice! I will speak more of this later, though. There is a bed hour around my home.

p.s. hint about my unflailing political position: GO ROMNEY!

It's taken me all of this time for me to discover the world of BLOG. Even I am surprised that I did not jump at the chance to create my own world the second the brilliant phenomenon surfaced. As you will soon learn, it is unfortunate the world has been without me this long. But perhaps that's conceited. Perhaps I should humbly say that I am the unfortunate one to have been without the world for 17 whole years. That's a long time.

I must say I am intrigued to be jumping on this bandwagon that is sending newspapers, media, and other such advertising dogs running out of business with their pants on fire. It's rather exciting, I've decided. And it's free! What better than free excitement, eh?