Have you ever had to extricate a lost, folded-up contact from the high-corners of your eye? May I be the first to assure you, it is the most painful process. My testament alone could scare the blind and wearers of glasses into a forever inferior state. Truly, contacts are ingenious inventions, but to lose the mere slip of genius in ones’ eye is… irritating to say the least.
I was on my way to the family computer tonight, pondering deeply on what I would write about (for if one were to sit down and always know what one was to write about, that would be very lame). Then, the incident with the contact happened, and I’ve just now come from rolling my eye about and pinching at my eye-ball in pursuit of the devil of a contact. I sat down with it on a victorious finger, and thought - hah! Ingenious! I shall write about the necessity for America to abolish the contact, and force laser-surgery upon all US citizens (illegal immigrants excluded) (imagine having to clarify!).
Can you imagine what a fuss the people of America could make before the Senate would finally hear us? Polls would be sent out, and the people would vote unanimously. Free laser-surgery for all. After all, what better to pay taxes for? The liberals would check the polls and immediately decide to raise taxes for the purpose of pleasing the people. Stations might be set up, and people would be requested to please step up to their booths and have their eyes zapped. And what a great way to tell the difference between the legal immigrants and the illegal immigrants! Any person wearing glasses or stumbling about as result of vision disrepair would surely be given the boot to the border!
Another thing. With better vision, Americans’ in general would be able to see our Presidential candidates a little closer. I believe that America will choose Barack Obama as the next President. I agree that on the surface, the man has a very nice smile, and he sounds very nice, and he dresses very nice. Everything about him is just… so nice. These are the things I hear, when I ask my coffee-customers why they are going to vote for Obama. But, I am a skeptic by nature. That is only his surface. What is beneath the crisp suit and the wide, white-toothed smile? The man supports everything that I morally cannot support. While I have been impressed by his rousing speeches, and his level-headed wife, I wonder if America would not do good to get the cataracts of American Idol out of the eyes, and give the future-President of America a good hard look.
Another comparison, while I am looking closer at our nations’ leaders. Hillary is a parrot. If I hear her repeat one more time, “I am so ready to be the next President of the United States! I am excited about what I can do! I will be the President!” - I will go shoot something. (most likely with a rubber band, so rest easy). The politicians of America would do good to stop telling America what they can do, and start telling America what America can do.
Since I do not support McCain with his snake-like smile and poll-seeking opinions, and I don’t believe that the conservative Huckabee has much of a chance because of his liberal background, I am forced to make a wild conclusion. I believe of all the evils, I would prefer to witness the evils of Obama in office. I would rather watch a speech made by him, or hear a talk show host exploiting his words, or read a headline with his words quoted, than I could bear watching
Hillary tell my country one more time how she can see herself leading the America she is clearly blind to.
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